All the Little "Things"

I flew home this morning because I wanted to be with my family during this difficult time. I wanted to walk the dog and do the laundry and clean the house, whatever it took to ease my parents' load and help get life back to normal as quickly as possible.

Somehow, I found myself lying on the couch looking at a Venician plate and thin king about "things." That plate, the antique apple crates, the thesaurus collection, the silverware... they're all little "things" that make up a life. They are carefully planned purchases paid off over several months. They are trinkets and gifts bought on romantic getaways. They are family heirlooms.

It kind of got me thinking about my own "things." Moving every four months or so makes me acutely aware of just how many "things" I own. But they are my life. They are the things I've collected throughout my travels. They are the things I've purchased with my first paycheck. They are what oftentimes define me. Mostly, they're books, hundreds of heavy books. But that's beside the point.

Looking at my parents' "things," I started noting unfamiliar trinkets and toys... A new bookcase from my grandmother's storage, a new dresser, a redesigned bathroom, a new couch and TV, new computers. There are "things" here now that have nothing to do with me.

In a way, I'm slowly disappearing from this house. My senior picture is still in the dining room and I know where the spoons go, but this house is less and less mine. My running shoes no longer sit outside the garage door and my lips have never touched the new glasses. This house is changing just as much as I am.

It makes sense. A lot can happen in the course of a couple years. I've changed dramatically and am actually moving into a new place with some incredible women. With them, I'm sure to collect some of my own new "things," to outfit our apartment with owls and keys and fleur-de-lis (Oh, my!).

Things are just changing. As much as it pains me to say, the world is going on without me. If home truly is where the heart is, then I'm inevitably split between the two coasts. But if home is where my things are, San Diego is slowly fading away.

San Diego Harbor

Today's Obsession: The Athenaeum

Yesterday, I found myself strolling around the first floor of the Boston Athenaeum, breathing in the moldy old books, the smell of floor polish, the stunning views. Every time I enter than building, I get the same feeling of passion and comfort and awe.

I picked up a membership application on the way out. $115 is about what it costs for a month of yoga, and I can get the same soothing benefits from the Athenaeum. It's about time. I owe it to myself.

The 5th floor of the Athenaeum.

Check out the arts column from freshman year, prompted by a visit to the Athenaeum after the break.

The Stars at Night / Are Big and Bright

Yesterday, I had the day off...

I woke up cuddling with one of my closest girlfriends and we made our way down to breakfast, then impulsively bought hair dye and dyed my hair in her apartment (I think I'm finally back to my natural brunette). We hung out at the boys' house and then I left for dinner in Cambridge.

After burgers at Bartley's (yay for a summer Bucket List accomplishment), I strolled around Harvard and Central squares and eventually made my way back to the boys' house, where I ended the night with a few beers, potato chips and lots of laughs.

Between bouts of "bro-ing out," my girlfriend and I stole away up to the roof. We lay out and looked at the sky and talked about relationships and honesty and the beauty of Boston. Cheesy at it sounds, there--surrounded by my family and friends and a warm summer breeze--I felt so incandescently happy.

It happened again this morning, as I was walking through my campus and realizing for the hundredth time just how stunningly beautiful this place is. I love this city, this time of my life. And I thank whatever powers that be daily that I made the decision to come here. I am happy, giddy even. I am in love with the people and the city and they, in turn, love me. I have a home here. For the first time in my life, I have furniture in my name. I have everything.

The world changes so quickly and I'm clinging to every moment. Lord only knows what will change in the coming months, as I return to classes and more and more friends graduate. But for now? I'm loving to live and living to love. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

2011 Summer (Supplemental) Bucket List

Hopefully, we all know how obsessive I am about lists. And Bucket Lists, in particular. The summer is such a great time for Bucket Lists because there's so much free time to get things done! So this summer, I compiled a list, pulling some ideas from my 2011 Bucket List and then adding some fun ones on my own. Some are actually already finished or in the works, so I crossed them out. Here's to an amazing summer!

2011 Summer List

1. Move to Boston!
2. Buy myself a camera.
3. Watch the Stanley Cup finals.
4. Have one (themed) dinner party.
5. Have a shower beer.
6. Do one of the following:

• Visit Canada.
• Go to Connecticut for the beach.
• Go to D.C. and visit the Newseum.
• Go to Georgia.
• Go camping!

7. Do something crazy.
8. Make stuff for apartment.

• L&L wood pieces
• Shabby-chic dresser
• Plant an herb garden

9. Scrapbook

• KKG
• Bahamas
• New York

10. Read these books (and more!):

• The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
• The History of Love by Nicole Krauss
• Things I’ve Been Silent About by Azar Nafisi
• Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

11. Send Minna housewarming present.
12. Send Lauren a care package (with Shi playlist).
13. Solidify Woof Magazine:

• Find business person
• Locate printer/costs.
• Lobby for funding.
• Fill all officer positions.
• Market to Journalism department and incoming freshman.

14. Get a job (that pays).
15. Publish an article.
16. Visit/have lunch with the Bunkers.
17. Try out Back Bay Bikram Yoga.
18. Do yoga with Laura.
19. Make business cards.
20. Get a Boston Athenaeum membership.
21. Buy myself some letters.
22. Perfect my dougie.
23. Buy myself a dress.
24. Paint.
25. Spend a day with no technology.
26. Take a CPR course.
27. Make something for the Glam Fam.

• Determine family colors
• Picture frame?
• Glam collage
• Something for littles.

28. Get coffee with Craig.
29. Volunteer at a Red Sox game!
30. Meet Rayna Starr! for coffee/whatever.
31. Summer birthdays.
32. Kickback with Frank.
33. Move into 135 Hillside and toast apartment with champagne!
34. Try Boston Organics.
35. Explore Boston:

• Get a burger at Bartley’s
• Go to the beach
• Go to the Arnold Arboretum
• Go to the zoo!

36. Wear feathers in my hair.
37. Replace the heels on my boots. 
38. Do some DAR work.

Running through fountains should probably also be on the docket for this summer <3

Here's What You Missed

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (I'm sure New York would be flattered to be considered its own galaxy)... I actually updated this blog. Unfortunately, I did it while I was working, which is about the most unprofessional thing ever. So I stopped.

Unfortunately, I had no Internet at the time, so I didn't write at home either. So my little Brain Barf went without for a while.

Hello, friends. I'm back and in full force. Here's what you missed:

• I finished my internship at Marie Claire. It was a bittersweet ending; I'm sad to see such an incredible chapter of my life come to a close, but also happy to move onto bigger and better things.
• I crafted a Summer (supplemental) Bucket List (more to come).
• Some sorry loser thought it'd be a good idea to let me rent a UHAUL van and schlep all my shit to Boston. Tiny girl, big van, bigger problems. It also doesn't help that I've had my license for a very short time and never drive, let alone drive a massive full size van with a cargo space larger than my New York apartment... but I digress.
• Made it to Boston with minimal damage, outfitted my room with some beautiful wood furniture (hopefully STD-free) purchased from a friend, and made my way down to my old digs and picked up right where I left off--which would be the blue couch at 48A, for those who know the scene.
• Interviewed for, was offered and accepted a position in retail at Ann Taylor LOFT. I start this Saturday!
• Went to Nahant beach about 30 minutes away to update my Bahamian tan.
• Started reading, and subsequently put down a book. Currently searching for the next one.

Things are amazing! And life is picking up the pace very quickly. Birthday's on Monday!

Today's Obsession: Living Luxe

I’ve been trying to be good lately about, well, everything. I’ve cleaned out my closet (mostly), eliminated clutter (mostly), and been on a health kick (as long as you don’t count the daily chocolate binge and ice cream for breakfast). But really…

The lovely Laura Max Nelson has also got me obsessing about yoga, which I’m not even that big on. But she has a blog that she keeps updated about the Boston yoga scene and I feel like I’m majorly missing out. After our Bahamas adventure (Eek!), when Tash has left the city (anti-eek!) and I have nothing to do, I am detoxing. I’m taking this ten thing and applying it to everything, including myself. I will be a ten. I will look good, feel good, and actually be good. And here’s how:

• For starters, I will already have a super awesome tan from the Bahamas; that’s enough to make any girl happier.
• I will become familiar with my running shoes. The weather has been gorgeous and I could really do with a Hudson river run every morning.
• I have these coupons for personal training sessions (my job pays me in coupons) and a week-long gym membership that I will use to strengthen my core.
• And I have another coupon for a week-long membership at a yoga studio, which I will use to calm myself down. My dad is bringing my yoga mat with him when he comes next week.
• I might even (gasp!) de-activate my Facebook for a week or two or a month.
• There’s also this detox flush cleanse diet that I’m intrigued by. I don’t really care about losing weight, but during the diet, you literally flush all your toxins (down the toilet). It’s part inspiring and part disgusting, which is why I’ll be doing it when Tash isn’t here anymore.

One of my favorite things about health kicks are the clothes. Having cute workout clothes is part of the equation, because when you look good (like a ten, maybe?), you actually want to work out. I love my crazy colored Nike goodies. “Just do it” is the worlds greatest mantra. But I also find these Bling Yoga Shorties from Victoria’s Secret just as inspiring. VS actually has a TON of yoga goodies, from pants to shirts that say “Live Luxe” to yoga underwear that goes undetected under all that butt-hugging spandex.

But really… These shorties are adorable. Good for hot, summer yoga or for running, and just teeny enough to be inspiring, as well. Because no one wants to wear short shorts when they don’t look good. Plus, they have rhinestones, and who can argue with that. Obsessed.

Victoria's Secret – Bling Yoga Shorties, $29

Poem: Home is...

where I can fall asleep looking out and watching those same three familiar red lights flashing not-quite-in-sync.

It’s where it smells like bacon (always).

It’s where I fall asleep on Kelly’s bed because I couldn’t make it the ten more feet to my own.

It’s where I can’t get away with faking a good day because I’ll get a text saying “Coffee. AfterHOURS. Now.”

It’s where my rain jacket still hangs in the closet, even when I’m three states away.

It’s Kelly’s dad’s cookies and Jordan’s chef creations and Laura’s late night wine fests.

It’s photos and laughter and snuggling to sleep with people who will never again be strangers.

It’s where I know how to jiggle the shower faucet for 5 more minutes of hot water.

It’s where I don’t have to use Google maps to get around.

It’s where I can fart out loud, my face turning red from shared bouts of laughter rather than embarrassment.

It’s where I know where the forks go.

It’s where my T card always has just enough money on it to make it from South Station to Mass Ave.

Today's Obsession: Boston Gear

I recently discovered the key to not getting creeped on while walking to work. In a sea of Yankees and Mets fans, wearing a Red Sox has quite the silencing effect. And while it isn't necessarily recommended, it did prove a successful maneuver. I just had to be sure that I didn't get jumped. And having that kind of heightened awareness is exhausting, to say the least.

I'm not a huge Sox fan. I'd say I'm more a Boston fan. I support and love the city, but I'm just kind of indifferent about its sports. Except for hockey. It's on my Bucket List to see a Bruins game this year and I want want want to go :) I love hockey. It's in my blood, it's in my past.

So today's obsession is this beanie. While the Bruins could have picked a sexier set of team colors, I'm still happy to rep the black and yellow (*cue song*). It's cute, warm, and serves as a handy creeper repellent. Who needs pepper spray when you've got Bruins gear? Obsessed.

Reebok Boston Bruins Women's Cuffed Knit Hat with Pom, $15

In a New York Minute...

I don't really feel like I have anything super cohesive to say right now... Things have really picked up at Marie Claire, so I'm just working to plow through my work and don't have the down time to sit and digest and contemplate what I want to blog about. It also probably doesn't help that I've been increasing my intake of caffeine, which makes me more awake, yes, but less productive. Like, I turn into a machine and crank out all my work, without leaving too much wiggle room for my "artistic freedom."

Things really are incredible, though. I'm treated with an insane amount of respect, given that I'm only a lowly intern. Yesterday, I was in one of the editors' office and she asked what year I was in school, hinting that if I were to graduate soon and a position were available, I would be considered. Which is freaking aweeessommmeeee if only I weren't some prepubescent child who won't be graduating until 2014.

Really, though, I love this industry. And, from the looks of it, I'm not too shabby at navigating it. I like working with so many women (who knew?) and having Friday afternoon bake-offs in the office. Everyone always looks good and smells good and they just so happen to be extremely talented, too. That, and the security guards (there's really only one cute one, but whatever) are so darn attractive.

I'm making friends, I'm planting roots, and I've started feeling out different neighborhoods for their post-grad living potential... Are the windows big enough? Is there exposed brick? Do they allow pets (I will soooo be that idiot that buys a dog and feeds it even when I can't afford food for myself)? Is it safe? As a totally random side note, I'm starting to think my parents think all of New York is a ghetto, when in reality, I feel safer here than I do in Boston.

This is starting to turn all lovey-dovey isn't it (sorry). I'm busy, hence the minimal posts. But I'll get the brain juices flowing and post something in the so-freaky-it'll-blow-your-mind category soon. Get ready.

10 Going on 40

I spent the past weekend in Boston, seeing old friends and re-familiarizing myself with my beloved city. It was great to see everyone, but I have to admit that the drama that I'd been skirting for the past month (being several states away makes the skirting easy) all managed to catch up to me in one weekend. Between that and recent changes, I got to thinking.

I lived in the same house for 17 years. The only "move" I every did was from the pretty, well-lit middle room to the slightly more dank and shaded second room. I painted the walls bubble gum pink (still have no clue why) and got some new bedding. Viola! Instant move.

So, naturally, it's been a little disorienting since I finished high school. Since graduating, I've moved 7 times:

1. Into my first closet of a room in Melvin Hall fall 2009
2. Into my second room living with Ali in Speare winter 2009
3. Into 12 boxes, one backpack and a two boxes I shipped home summer 2010
4. Into home, post-Europe
5. Into Dav A fall 2010
6. Out of Dav A (and into boxes. Again)
7. Into my New York closet version 2.0 Jan 2011 (I count these as two moves because there was a full month between the two)

Every time I move--and especially when I move to a new city--I feel like I gain some unique insight. I like little things from every place I've lived and I want to be able to smush them all together and have it all: New York's energy and awesome subway system, Boston's Athenaeum and Nu's campus and all my friends, and California's weather (duh) and beach and Mexican food and my family and my pets :)

It's as though every time I move, I become a little more introverted and my personality gets a little mini makeover.

Nothing made me more aware of this fact than this weekend. Someone recently told me that sometimes I act like I'm 40 and sometimes I act like I'm 10. I find the statement comical yet pretty darn accurate. But since living in New York, I've been favoring the 40 side.

I live in a tiny little room and have few friends in the city. I'm not complaining, but I spend a lot of time with myself, thinking and being calm and just being comfortable with myself. I also work full-time and hadn't anticipated that it would be so darn tiring (The idea of working AND having kids just makes me want to take a nap on my desk). I'm emotionally drained and don't feel the need to party hardy because everything's so darn expensive. So I watch a lot of movies. I read. I write. I plan.

Some may interpret that as being cold, but I think of it as a new found maturity.