I am the green bean casserole

Looking for this picture made me really hungry...

As with most things, I blame my mother.

She's always been the queen of grammar, scolding innocent passersby for their ignorant misuse of lay and lie. I would never describe her as "subtle;" she used sexual references to teach her eighth grade Catholic class ("'Lay' needs an object. You can only 'lay' someone or something...")

Lately I've been referring to her as "The Tornado." Wherever she goes, whatever she feels or thinks, she whips everyone and everything within arm's length up into her wild tempest of feeling. I've been spinning around in her stormy wake since conception, and I can't get enough... but I digress.

When I had trouble sleeping in high school, she asked me why. I explained that I had so much spinning around in my head: music and feelings and stresses, oh my. And she told me to write it all down. So I did.

Sometimes when I have a stray thought, I like to entertain myself by tracing it back through the conversation in my head, charting how I got to thinking so intently about, say, why green bean casserole has those oniony chips in it.

Suppose I am the green bean casserole right now, sitting at my desk at one of the most highly acclaimed papers in the country. How did I get to this point, why am I writing?

And it all comes back to her. There have been others along the way—teachers and mentors and authors and experiences. But it all started with an overly loud head, a brown lined leather notebook, and my mother.

First Boston Globe Bylne

And on a somewhat related note, my first Boston Globe byline came out today. About David Bowie, of all things. Page 23... and they spelled my name right. Here's the full story... NIGHTWATCH: Third Annual Videodrome Discoteque David Bowie Birthday Party.

More to come!

WOOF Magazine - Issue 1

It's out, it's printed, it's full of mistakes (I used "shared oxygen" twice in the same paragraph, and somehow my self-deprecating humor comes off more like a snobby know-it-all), but I DON'T CARE!! Ladies and gents, the first issue of WOOF Magazine is printed, disbursed on campus and live on the Internet. I couldn't be more proud or more exhausted.

Open publication - Free publishing - More college

2012 Bucket List!

So I have this tradition... In 2009, I celebrated the new year with my close friend Casey, and together we crafted "Bucket Lists" of things we hoped to accomplish that year. I loved it. New Year's resolutions stuck me as half-assed attempts at changing oneself. It was almost negative: what is wrong about me that I ought to change (but don't really want to).

But the lists were different. They were optimistic, and proactive. It was less about What can I improve about myself? and more What can I hold myself accountable for? What can I accomplish this year?

There are some big things—highlights include "Go to college" (2009), "Go to Europe" (2009, 2010), "Start a blog" (2010)—but I balance them out with smaller items that are still great experiences. It's all about being realistic about what I can do that year. By putting a few big items on the list, I hold myself accountable.

And not everything gets crossed off. Throughout the year, my wants and goals change. But the point is to write it down. As I learned from my mother, unless I write it down, shit don't get done.

Check out the full list.

The Year in Review

2011 started with my moving to Manhattan to work at Marie Claire.

As 2012 approaches, I reflect on the past 12 months. Sometimes, last Christmas seems likes a lifetime ago, and other times, I feel like so little time has passed. But it's been a full year when I think about everything that has happened.

I moved to New York and worked for six months at Marie Claire. I explored the city and spent a week in the Bahamas. I moved back to Boston and lived off campus (my first big girl apartment!). I worked at LOFT and am in a great relationship. I also dyed my hair about a dozen different colors.

But then we had three deaths in the family, and a could friends as well. Only one was from old age. We've faced financial stress and law suits, and the general crappy-ness of some people. It's been a challenging year, but we'll grow from it all, as well.

Click for more to see what I crossed off from my 2011 Bucket List.

Today's Obsession: Kate Spade

To start, a few philosophical musings...

I have this theory that all women should wear sexy underwear, regardless of whether or not they plan on showing it to a third party. Sexy undies make a girl walk taller, strut just a little, and feel completely and utterly beautiful.

Well I also maintain that during the winter months, it's helpful to wear bright colored nail polish on your toes. No one has to see it (though I have no problem showing some toe in January), but coming home and taking off your boots, only to be greeted by perfectly kept bright pink toes... that's a good feeling.

Kate Spade kind of takes that concept and runs with it. Everything in her line is colorful and upbeat and vintage and chic all in one. I'm mildly obsessed with her weekly organizers, and have cases for both my new Macbook and my iPhone. Both have a discreet message hidden in/on them that greets me just like brightly painted toes. "Have Courage."

And how can I say no to that. Though the cost of much of her stuff is—how we say?—steep. But even a lowly college fashionista can afford (or splurge) on a collection of her idiom bracelets. Her decadent bangles come in both classic silver and gold, as well as colorful designs. And all of them include idiom-ic sayings to inspire and cheer up a Yankee girl with Southern aspirations. My favorite? It's a toss-up between "Heart of Gold" and "This is the year to..." Obsessed.

Kate Spade's idiom bangles would pair effortlessly
with my Michael Kors watch, dontcha think?

48A

I walk past the front door with the broken lock and handle,
the door that only ever opens to welcome in 3 a.m. cream cheese wontons,
and head right into the back yard like I live here.
I do live here.

I walk up the rickety porch steps where I sat crying into Geddes' drink
before stealing it and using it as a numbing chaser for my heartbreak,
past the circle of chairs where I rebelliously took a drag on a cigar
Backwards.

I stumble over the piles of recyclables, and the uninvited resident possum
and walk through the back door and into the kitchen...

I love this house,
With its chandeliered ceilings, mile-high floorboards,
forest green granite countertops and a lone stained glass window--
Outdated embellishments from former tenants,
haphazardly shielding the grime of beer-laquered floors.

I sit on this familiar, disease-ridden couch,
my toes tucked under to keep from freezing...
this is where I was first introduced to the classics
like "Superbad" and "Zoolander."

Here, over beer and tequila and cheap peach champagne,
and endless games of Kings and chandeliers,
pregaming turned into midnight turned into New Years.
Before I moved away.

Somewhere buried under the piles of mail and hooker cards,
there is a ripped up Bud Lite Lime box where I scribbled an apology,
a thank you to the boys for their hospitality and hair holding.
And a Christmas card.

Here, we spent lazy Sunday afternoons watching the game.
I cleaned the kitchen with bleach only to dirty it up again with enchilada sauce,
the smells of soap mixing with onions and chicken.
Or Bolognese.

It's funny in a house of boys, I managed to be surrounded by sisters.
We "guy's girls," a breed all our own, laughing and bonding.
And sharing Alec's clothes.

The boys used Best Buy's "No questions asked" return policy
to equip the gritty, sound-proof basement with the best sound system on the hill.
And there, next to the "sex couch," and under the blacklights,
Dez taught me how to dougie.

This is the house that raised me from GDI to TFM, from princess to squalor,
this is where I lick-shot-lime'd my semester away,
learning more and growing more from lazy conversations
over Crispy Dough.

I found this poem in my email drafts. I probably wrote it seven or eight months ago, but just rediscovered it.

My Dad, the Superhero

When I was younger, I use to pretend that I was a cat, and I'm meow all day and then cuddle my dad, who would pet my head and scratch my chin. He was the person I talked to about first kisses and crushes. He was my king, and I, his princess.

We've always had that kind of relationship, and though I no longer pretend to be a kitten, I'm still his princess. There are lines that we don't cross in conversations, certain subjects we don't discuss, secrets we don't acknowledge... because I want to forever be Daddy's little girl.

When I was growing up, I dragged him to shop for prom dresses, and we went to baseball games together. We got pedicures. We went on ski trips. We saw Jewel concerts and Cyrano de Bergerac and movies.

In my head, I viewed him as a superhero. I thought he was forgiving, because he had let go of his own father's mistakes, and forgiven my mom for hers. I'd heard stories of his childhood, and he was always the "good kid:" Senior class president, athlete, private school kid, conscience for all his friends. He made fresh lattes and a hot breakfast almost every morning and listened to Jewel with me. Plus, he loved my mom.

I've since—you know—grown up (though not that much), and I know my dad is plagued by mortality just like the rest of his. His loved ones die, despite his efforts to "save" them. He breaks bones and grinds his teeth and can't touch his toes. Sometimes his smoothies aren't stellar (but I drink them anyway). And I steam my milk for lattes better than he does.

He's no superhero, I have to confess. But that doesn't take away from how spectacular he is, or the incredible bond we're lucky enough to share. He inspires me to pursue things that make me happy, and his moral compass typically points north. He may not be a superhero, but he is my hero. An everyday hero. A cape wouldn't look good on him, anyway.

And the Winner Is...

I mentioned before that I was on the search for my January co-op. As I said before, I applied to numerous positions and have since followed-through and heard back from many, as well. I haven't yet been declined by any companies, but did opt not to interview with some that I thought I might not fit well with. During this co-op round, I opted to only pursue companies that I thought I would genuinely enjoy working at. After some disenchanted experiences at my last co-op, I wanted to make this one a 100% positive experience. I am confident that every single one of the following would have been that for me.

But now for the exciting news...I received offers from (in alphabetical order):

• The Boston Globe
• Farm Aid
• Jill's List
• The San Diego Union-Tribune
• TheStreet.com

And the winner is... (drumroll, please)...

What Lies Within the Lines

Original graphic courtesy/Edwin Morris

My final paper for my ethics course. PLEASE NOTE that my citations didn't transfer into HTML, but I'm more than happy to supply them if needed.

In radio and television, quotes are captured, edited down to a short segment, and interjected into the program between lines of analysis and contextual information. Slang, grammatical imperfections and language quirks are all captured; and in the case of Antoine Dobson, who was interviewed about his sister’s assault, may even be auto-tuned and reproduced in a viral YouTube video. When multiple senses are involved in interpreting an interview, listeners and viewers are better able to immediately understand the content of a quote. Though there may be grammatical errors in much of what the interviewee says, the quote is still decipherable because the viewer or listener is able to take other factors like context, inflection and tone into account.

But in writing, the tools for capturing and communicating quote are not so intricate. Rather than recorded sound bites or video, journalists utilize quotation marks, tiny little squiggles of lines that some call sacred. They are meant to take recorded interviews, cut them down and translate them into organized key points that can be read, interpreted and understood by the common reader. “Wuz” becomes “were;” excessive use of “like” is limited; “Ums,” “uhs” and “you knows” are cut. But at what point does a quote no longer reflect what was uttered by its owner? At what point does a quote become paraphrased? How much tampering can be permitted without eliminating those sacred quotation marks?

“The words we live by are not always the words we see in print,” said Philadelphia Inquirer journalist Doreen Carvaja in a piece she wrote for a journalism ethics newsletter about quotes in the press. But there is a fine line between fixing and altering, as Carvaja acknowledges in her piece. Fixing subject-verb agreement is different than opting for a fancier word, which is different than a completely fabricated quote. “[J]ust how sacred are the sentences between quotation marks?” Carvaja asks.

"The rough draft of history is still history."

Journalist Bob Steele evaluates the issue of fixing quotes from a unique perspective. As a journalist and writer for The Poynter Institute, he’s considered an expert on journalism ethics. Oftentimes he’s the interviewer, but he’s also oftentimes the interviewee. As such, he’s seen his own quotes altered and corrected and even butchered.

Sometimes, he said, there are minor grammatical corrections when he knows he said something incorrectly. And sometimes he’s quoted using words he doesn’t even know. “ The reporter either wasn’t listening well or took bad notes.” But, he said, “Sometimes my ‘quote’ is a composite of several things I said at different times in the interview. The words may be accurate but the reporter is playing loose with the context, perhaps the writer’s way of tidying up my thoughts to tighten up the story.”

Dissonance, or The Numbers of Art

Rothko, No. 2

Speaking of art...I was talking to someone a ways back about art, and we got into a debate about it. I actually started arguing that art is math. And in many ways, it is.

Think of Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man, perfect and beautiful because of his proportions. Everything that is beautiful is numbers.

Music is nothing but rules, knowing which chords sound right together, and how they pair well together. And yes, sometimes there are dissonant pairings, or two notes that shouldn't go together and evoke a sense of stress to the music. They stretch a note and make it deeper and tense. But you can't get a dissonant chord without knowing which rules to break (Think Eric Whitacre). Notes are numbers. Solfege is often in numbers. Time signatures are in numbers. Note lengths are in numbers. It's all math, albeit emotional, beautiful math.

And art. So much of drawing and painting is about the geometry of the contents. Modern art would be the exception, but as my boyfriend likes to say, modern art is just one big "F you" to the art industry. It isn't that the rules for aesthetics aren't there; they're just deliberately ignored in order to prompt an emotional response in the viewer.

I was walking through MoMA with my grandmother (who, it's worth mentioning, is very old-school, Catholic and traditional). Nearly everything that I enjoyed—Rothko, Warhol, Klimt, photography—she said was ugly. She didn't even recognize Van Gogh's "Starry Night." It isn't art, she claimed. And she even left the room at one point, while I stood there trying to decipher Rothko's abstract lines and dots. But that kind of response is art, no? Art can and should evoke a response, good or bad. Any artist that is featured in the MoMA knows the rules. They've studied art presumably all their lives. They know the rules, but deliberately break them.

The MoMA is a building of dissonance, echoing off the exhibit walls. But it's still all math.

(By the way, this is one of the most incredible songs ever.)

There's No Place Like Home

And again... I managed to neglect this blog.

Things have been really hard lately. I've never been so challenged as I have the past several months. After my uncle killed himself, my grandmother died. And then her body was looted and all her jewelry (wedding ring included) stolen. My brother's friend overdosed on heroin, and I've never been so desperate to rally around my family as I have this semester.

We're a unique bunch...Never confused for some 1950s model family, but we work well together. We balance each other in an intricate way, and are never lacking in love. Needless to say, I've been homesick; there's something terrible about grieving alone 3,000 miles away from my family. But I'm trying to take care of myself (with the help of a supportive group of friends).

I recently made several calls looking for a therapist, and am meeting with various people to find the right "fit." I also quit my internship at Latitude because I just don't have the time or energy to perform well. I'm sleeping more (and by that I mean all the time. I could sleep for 12 hours straight every night), and drinking more tea. I even went to the gym yesterday.

I'm also seeking art. My boyfriend dragged me into the MFA the other day, but I've been dancing and singing (and heck, even writing) more. There's something about art and beauty and the aesthetics of it all that I'm inevitably drawn to.

I was seriously considering my co-op opportunity in San Diego, because it would provide me my last opportunity to live at home. I could support my father, and pick up groceries, and jacuzzi and tan. I could wear shorts in February. But then I stumbled upon this quote...

‎"A ship in port is safe; but that is not what ships are built for." -Grace Hopper

Going home feels safe, and it's what I (for the most part) want. But I don't know how much I'd grow from the experience. I outgrew San Diego a long time ago, and while I love my family dearly, I wasn't built for being "safe." I was made for exploring.

But still...There's no place like home.

Snowtober

This is how I feel about snow in October (though I must say, I love books). "POO!"

Ventfest: Trivial Problems

I've been worried about my dad, lately. When I start adding up the unfortunately events that have played out this year, it's overwhelming. In addition to the deaths of three family members, we also have a verbally and emotionally abusive neighbor that's been threatening my family. And sometime between the time of my grandmother's death, and when her body was cremated, her jewelry was looted, literally yanked off of her cold, dead fingers.

It's difficult to remain optimistic about little things in the wake of such tragedy. In the past month, I've grown up more than I would have liked. And I'm not the only one; I've watched my dad grow in numerous ways. He's recognized the importance of family, and—as I understand it—has renewed his commitments to himself, his happiness and his family. And he's been rattled.

And all that is just his personal life.

So when people come to me to discuss problems and drama with their relationships or how they're so stressed and busy, I'm inclined to turn and walk away. I don't know where I'm going with all that, but it's overwhelming. Never before have I been so intimately touched by death. So pardon me that I can't be bothered with the superficiality of temporary inconveniences.

While I Was Out

Oh, hello there...

It's certainly been a while since I wrote here. I have a confession to make. I've been cheating on this blog.

What started off as a class assignment has turned into a genuine passion and interest. I've been blogging about organic food in Boston on my new(ish) blog, MetrOrganics. Catchy, right? Basically, I eat, breathe, smell, cook and shop organic food in the Boston metro area and—guess what—write about it. It's fantastic, and I've finally succeeded in creating a singularly focused blog. But at the expense of loving this one.

So, some catch-up work...

• I've been taking much better care of myself and living by the notion of loving myself first and others second.
• But I have been loving others. Remember those angsty, hyper-transparent posts about a certain boy who was unavailable? Well we've been exclusively dating for a couple of months now, and he's provided all the support I could ever ask for. He also serves as a guinea pig for all my organic cooking experiments.
• My family has been in shambles lately. Following my uncle's death, my grandmother just passed away a little over a week ago. That makes three deaths on that side in the last year. Needless to say, I've been extremely homesick.
• I accepted and started a new internship at Latitude News, an international news site/magazine that makes international news more digestible and applicable to American readers by establishing the context of the issues and providing parallels in the United States.
• I'm on the hunt for my January co-op! I've already been offered a position at the San Diego Union-Tribune and am waiting to hear back from (in alphabetical order) The Boston Globe, Boston.com, Daily Item, Farm Aid, Jill's List, OurStage Inc., Second Nature, Tech Target and TheStreet.com. I'll keep you posted.
• WOOF Magazine is up and running (sort of). We have our website and twitter going strong and have set our fall print date!! Glad to see my ideas finally panning out.

He keeps me sane and puts up with my freakouts :)

I Now Pronounce You (Wo)Man and Life

I've hit rock bottom. Somehow in the last week, I've managed to upset pretty much every person that matters to me. And the root of all my problems is that I'm working too much.

I've been averaging a little over 30 hours per week because I've been feeling the stress of paying my rent, of buying new computers, of covering sorority dues, of buying groceries. I'm working because there's nothing else to do and because I feel the dire need to be self-sufficient. I'm working because in some sick and twisted way, I crave the numbness that can only come from brainlessly folding thousands of over-priced sweaters for eight hours.

But the aftershock of all that work it whittling away at me. I'm not working out and I'm not eating right. I'm not spending time with my friends or with myself, and when I do have a free second, I would run away to my boyfriend's to escape the reality of my exhausting routine.

But I've come to the sobering conclusion that this is not okay. My friends have complained for as long as I can remember that I don't have enough time for them. For as long as I can remember, I've been working by butt off and struggling to beef up my resume. I've given 100% to too many things and the mathematical impossibility of that is killing me.

I don't sleep, I don't eat right, and ultimately, I'm not happy. Not like I should be at least. So I've opted to make a change.

Over the course of the next few weeks, I'm on a search for balance. I want to adequately balance my work, school, social, personal and love lives. I want to sleep and maintain my sanity. So I am cutting my workload in half, and contemplating taking out a small loan to help offset the deficit. I am trying to eat better and trying to give myself the extra tidbits of time that I deserve and need.

I'm starting an early morning bootcamp in a week and am clearing time on the weekend for my boyfriend and fun activities like apple picking and finally actually visiting the Athenaeum. I want to read for fun and write a letter once in a while.

It's like a breakup makeover. A breakover. Only, I'm breaking away from the former half-life that I was allowing myself to live. I'm taking myself for pedicures and sushi dinners when I feel the need. I am sleeping in later than 8 a.m. I am living.

My mom has always preached that I need to have a job while in school. It builds character and responsibility and whatnot. But "Alexandra's" mother tells her that if she has enough time to have a job, she ought to spend that time in the library. And I think both mentality's have merit. But somewhere in there,  I want to fit fun, as well.

My big brother says that I should do what I love, even if I've forgotten that I love it. At the time, it kind of upset me, but there's a lot of truth to what he said. So I got thinking about what makes me happy. And it's the little things... a good book, a surprise from a boyfriend, a text from a friend, a call from a family member. I like a clean pedicure and the slight discomfort of a full stomach. It's cooking and cleaning and running. I even want to take a spin class.

I'm renewing my vows to myself, to my life. I'm choosing to love myself for time and all eternity, and to practice what I preach. I choose to live and love and sleep, and to devote my time to all the people that matter to me. I am again married and committed to my life. Please, presents are not necessary.

Nothing like a pedicure to cheer a girl up.

Ladies and Gentlemen, May I Introduce...

Sorry it’s been a while… there’s a lot that’s happened in the past several weeks. I concluded my time in San Diego, I flew home to Boston, I worked (a LOT), I moved into my new apartment…

I also managed to shatter the screen on my laptop. And no, I don’t know how it happened, though I suspect I sleepily stepped on it as I got out of my bed. But suffice to say that Lloyd, my beloved and loyal companion these past several years, is dead.

I’m so tempted to write an obituary…

But alas, there is some sort of good news in it all, as well. Because I have a new companion. She’s round and shiny and lights up when she sees me. I’ve known for a long time that my next computer would be a Mac. With my passion for photography and my need to be multi-media-oriented, it was an obvious step. I had just anticipated that it would be another year or so before I converted.

And though the timing was rather unfortunate for a variety of reasons—mostly financial, I now have a new MacBook Pro. And her name is Charlie.

Charlie’s personality is already coming through—she’s intelligent, friendly, useful. And undoubtably stubborn (even with Macs, technology hates me).

She’s named after Charlotte York. Yes, that Charlotte York, of “Sex and the City.” She’s classy and intelligent and quirky, just like my Charlie. And she’s a sorority sister, albeit fictional.

So, ladies and gents, I’d like to make a toast. Here’s to Charlie and the beginning of a beautiful, aesthetic, multi-media relationship for years to come. Somehow it only feels appropriate to toast with a cosmo.

The lovely Charlotte York.

Foodie Diaries: The Art of Cooking

I was on Skype last night with my (amazing) boyfriend while simultaneously sautéing mushrooms and drinking a glass of wine. Though I may have looked domestic and all, I’m hardly the type to claim I’m a stellar cook. I have my fall back dishes (enchiladas) and occasionally try a new recipe, but I’m better friends with my microwave than my stove top.

I’m learning though. Every time I come home, I cook with my mother. The kitchen is familiar and clean, and I ask my mom questions along the way. It’s like a crash course in Cooking 101.

So while I admittedly haven’t mastered the “art of cooking,” I’m working on it. And I’ve learned a couple key things about what truly is the art of cooking.

• Keep it clean. When I try to write in a dirty room, I can’t think straight; my head is as cluttered as the carpet. In the same way, I can’t (or refuse to) cook in a dirty kitchen. Working in a clean space is more sanitary and less stressful. And honestly, it’s much easier to pace and control a meal if the kitchen is clean. Wash dishes as frequently as possible. Wipe the counters. Throw things away when they smell like something died. Common sense.
• When in doubt, add garlic.
• Be creative. This comes naturally to me, probably because of my mother. She loves trying out new recipes and ideas, and she calls her dinner guests her guinea pigs. Things aren’t always perfect, but it’s always fun.
• Wear an apron. Cooking is one of the only times I get the chance to feel super girly. I love hamming it up with an apron (like this “Cuisine Couture” one from Anthropologie). And then there’s the practicality, too. Don’t want to spill on your fancy cookin’ clothes.
• Taste test right out of the dish. I swear it tastes better that way.
• Don’t try to cook and host at the same time. Honestly, I’ve seen people struggle with this a lot. And there are ways to balance the food and the friends. Either (a) cook things ahead of time so that the most you have to do is dish them out OR (b) co-host the dinner. Having someone else greeting people and starting conversation takes the pressure off the cook. Also, ask people for help. Everyone knows how to stir.
• Take photographs. Foodie photos are the best!
• Have fun. This, for me, typically entails having a glass of wine or iced tea when I cook. It helps me relax and enjoy my time and really savor all the scents and tastes in the kitchen. And if a swish or two of wine happens to spill into whatever I’m cooking, then so be it.

So. Much. Garlic. :)

Foodie Diaries: Vegetarianism

To be or not to be… that is the question.

I first started being vegetarian several years ago for Lent. But because Lenten promises don’t apply on Sundays, I would head to Carl’s Jr. for a jalapeno burger (noms). Throughout the 40-someodd days, I noticed that when I ate meat, I had scary, oftentimes violent dreams. Something in the actual meat or the chemicals or something wrecked havoc on my body.

So when Lent rolled around the next year, I gave up meat again. But this time, I didn’t eat on Sundays either. And I kept it up. I found that after a while, I stopped craving meat and it actually started to smell unappealing to me. I always ate fish; it was my way of making sure I had enough protein and folic acid and whatnot without having to take supplements. It also made eating out a little easier, too. There are surprisingly few vegetarian dishes at restaurants.

And that all worked out well for me. Until I accidentally ate bacon and decided Oh, to hell with it. I didn’t make the diet change for any real ethical reasons. I wasn’t one to preach about the disgusting nature of meat. And I never read Sinclair’s The Jungle. I liked vegetables and didn’t like nightmares. It seemed pretty simple.

Lately, I’ve been considering taking up a vegetarian (okay… that’s what I call my version. Call it pesca-vegetarian or lacto-ovo-vegetarian or whatever. I’m not getting technical) diet again. I like how clean vegetarianism makes me feel. Meals are naturally lighter and simpler.

Currently, my rule is that I don’t buy meat. First off, meat is expensive. But I also tend to eat healthier and fewer meals when I’m vegetarian. I plan them more because I know I can’t go just anywhere and get a snack.

And yes I’ve studied the ethical reasons for why it would be beneficial to be vegetarian. Like how cows are the number one source of greenhouse gases. Or how 80 percent of the food the United States produces is consumed by cows… experts estimate that vegetarianism is the key to ending world hunger. When we consume a pound of meat, we’re basically consuming everything it took to keep that cow alive to mature. I know that animals are scalded and skinned alive, their throats cut until they bleed out and die.

I know that animals are crippled by their hormone-pickled bodies, their legs too small to hold up their amped-up muscles. I know that their cancerous tumors and infections go untreated because the USDA deems that meat approved.

And then there’s the health benefits… how people who strictly limit (or eliminate) their intake of meat are at a significantly lower risk for heart-related issues, high blood pressure, obesity, stroke and some forms of cancer.

So then why not be a vegetarian? That’s where I run into problems. The main reason is that it’s an inconvenience. People have to make an extra meal. People think I’m going to preach about ethics and green house gases while their trying to have their burger. It also means cutting out a ton of things… burgers, machaca burritos, Thanksgiving turkey. But so what. Everyone could use a few fewer burgers.

But I’ve come to a peaceful middle ground. Fish and seafood are in, albeit minimal (for price reasons). I don’t buy meat. But when it comes to “ribs or rude,” be that a meal out or someone cooking for me… whenever my diet might inconvenience others, then I will be okay with eating meat. Because, ultimately, my reasons for vegetarianism are my own. And it would be rude for me to impose them onto someone else.

Foodie Diaries: Organic Produce

If and when I can, I try to buy organic food. The problem is that “Organic” is just a label; it’s challenging to break down what that really means. According to the USDA…

Organic food is produced by farmers who emphasize the use of renewable resources and the conservation of soil and water to enhance environmental quality for future generations…Organic food is produced without using most conventional pesticides; fertilizers made with synthetic ingredients or sewage sludge; bioengineering; or ionizing radiation. Before a product can be labeled "organic," a Government-approved certifier inspects the farm where the food is grown to make sure the farmer is following all the rules necessary to meet USDA organic standards. Companies that handle or process organic food before it gets to your local supermarket or restaurant must be certified, too.

That’s all fine, but not necessarily why I choose to eat organic. I think there are many benefits, but the ones that justify my organic food choices are:

• Taste. I notice that there is a significant difference in the taste and quality of the food I buy. It doesn’t always look as pretty (because it’s, you know, a plant), but the apples are crisper, sweeter. The eggs especially taste ten times more delicious than standard eggs. You know how grapes and avocados taste better when they are forced to struggle? I think there’s a lot to be said there. Food that can brave the elements without pesticides and all sorts of chemical whozits and whatzits galore should taste better.
• Variety. When I opt to eat organic, I find I’m more inclined to eat a variety. I eat more local foods and, thus, eat seasonally. There are fewer “staple foods” because things don’t naturally grow year-round. So instead, I diversify my palette and find creative ways to incorporate whatever is in season.
• Support. Since much of organic food is local, buying organically helps support local farmers struggling to make a living (or break even) in my area.
• Health. Even if I can’t always notice the pesticides in standard food and produce, the fact that they’re there tends to bother me. My dad figures that his father’s brain cancer was due in large part to his growing up on a pesticide using farm. If I can avoid risks and eat healthy, more diverse, better tasting food, why wouldn’t I?

A Boston Organics delivery box.

When I’m back in Boston and moved into my (gorgeous) new apartment, I plan to start utilizing a program in Boston called Boston Organics. The company compiles bins of organic produce every week that they then delivery to individual homes. Patrons can choose to have deliveries every week or every other week. They can tell the company what is on their “no list,” things that they have no interest in and don’t want delivered. They can choose what percentage of fruit and veggies they want (half and half, 2/3 veggies, all fruit) and what size.

Then, patrons can also add on other organic groceries including staples, bread, peanut butter, even chocolate.

Price wise, I’m looking at about $60 a month for delivery every other week. And at first it seems steep, but that’s what I would likely pay at the grocery store for that kind of produce, anyway. And this way, I get diversity. I’m forced to find new and inventive ways of cooking and storing food. It’s a learning experiment.
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Though Boston Organics makes organic easy, there are other (more involved) ways to eat organic. My parents in San Diego actually own part of a local farm. Many farms have programs called CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). There are more than 400 participating farms in America. Basically, farms cut their land up into “shares,” which they then sell to consumers. The farmers benefit in that they are guaranteed a certain amount of income for the season and the consumers reap benefits as well.

My mom’s program is very similar to the organic delivery: She goes to a local farmers’ market every other weekend to pick up a box of organic produce. There’s always a variety of goods (some CSA’s even have flowers) and a newsletter, which includes sample recipes or ideas of how to cook some of the ingredients involved.

Though most CSA programs are like my mom’s, others offer different benefits. The may give discounts at their farm stands or allow consumers to pick their own food from the farm. But either way, the programs encourage a relationship between the consumer and the farmer. It’s important to know from whom and where your food comes from.