Showing posts with label Bo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bo. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

For the Love of Food

I once messed up a box of Kraft Mac N Cheese. I am an absolutely hopeless cause when it comes to working in the kitchen. But that isn't to say I don't have a passion for it. If and when I devote the time (money) and effort to it, I thoroughly enjoy cooking. And when I can't find the time to cook, I still enjoy eating just as much. I've been spending the past couple of minutes looking through Cook's Country, some cute little foodie magazine I'd never heard of but that has amazing pictures and makes my mouth water.

It got me thinking about food, though. I walk home down Ninth Avenue and pass dozens of delicious-smelling, boutique-y, small, eclectic restaurants. Yes there are some that look like they've contracted some sort of STD, but the gems shine comparatively brighter compared to the ethnic grunge of Hell's Kitchen. I'm hungry all the time. And I'd be lying if I said I haven't Googled the best Italian restaurants or picked out where I'm making my parents take me when they come to visit. But this isn't the first time food (or the lack thereof) has defined me. For as long as I can remember, it's played an active and constant role in my life. So I decided to compile some little anecdotes about how food brought me to the three most incredible women I've ever met.

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Mom: My mom's rule when it came to grocery shopping was that whichever child went got to pick out something they wanted. For my brothers, that meant taquitos and ice cream, but for me it meant something weird. I remember the first time my mom and I found celeriac. And persimmons. She was always experimental and fun about food. Even when we didn't know what something was, we would buy it and then look up how to cook it in The New Joy of Cooking when we got home. Celeriac was middle of the road, but oftentimes our science experiments yielded incredible results. I remember I once picked out Chinese long beans because I thought they looked like some sort of monster hair. But when we brought them home and learned how incredible they are sauteed, we were in legume heaven. Mouthgasmic bliss, right there. The first time I went vegetarian my junior year of high school, my mom did it with me as our Lenten sacrifice. And though I craved Carls Jr. jalapeno burgers almost as much as chocolate, we made it fun. I remember looking through vegetarian recipes and trying to make eggplants sound appealing. We made these ricotta cheese Italian roll-up things once and I swear the prep work took two hours. But they ended up being amazing.

My mom didn't make me lunches until I was in high school (a little behind the curve, but I didn't mind). But her lunches were incredible. As my brother's high school girlfriend said, our lunches were "circus lunches," full of different food groups and color. When I was vegetarian, she catered to that, making falafel and packing hummus and celery. With the exception of the ever-present bag of carrots (which I always gave away), I loved every single lunch I had.

Last summer, when I went to Europe with my mom, we had an absolute blast. I've never met someone so experimental and inspiring. We would never order the same thing, always order wine and dessert, and we challenged ourselves to try things we might otherwise write off--like fresh anchovies and sardines in northern Italy or mussels and frites in Belgium. In Sienna, we stumbled around the tiny walled city for probably an hour looking for some Rick Steves-approved place before finally "settling" for a whole in the wall close to our hotel. When we saw the menu was entirely in Italian, we just signed to the waitress/owner that we'd have whatever she wanted to make. And we ended up with a porridge-y soup, some stewed meat, and spinacci (even I could read that). As we found out later, the meat was boar, not beef. But I didn't care in the least. I was too busy listening to my stomach purr.

Bo: I wouldn't necessarily call Bo's food choices diverse, but the girl knows what she likes and I have to give her that. Half a hamburger at The Cheesecake Factory, Steak at Jake's, pasta at Sammy's Woodfired Pizza. And Machaca at Rod's. Even if she weren't my best friend, I would love her for sharing Rodrigo's with me. Somehow, that little hole in the wall has seen me through some amazing transitions in my life. So many of my high school ghosts visit the restaurant (can I call it that?) that under any other circumstances, I would avoid it like the plague. But Rodrigo's is one piece of PQ that I will never quite let go of. Rodrigo's is the common stomping ground and it's a place where Bo and I can go and just be us, her and me, the Shis. Of course, it doesn't hurt that the Machaca is the shit. Hot or cold, drowning in salsa and spilling everywhere. Noms.

J: I still remember my first lunch with J. I described it once in conversation... It was awkward because I think we both knew intuitively that we were going to be close. But we had to get all the small talk and details out of the way first. But really. I remember wearing my pledge pin. I remember which corner table in Stetson East. And from then on, I spent almost every single dining hall meal with the girl. Over Colin-the-omelet-master's omelets and those amazing little rolls they have by the pizza stand, we learned the ins and outs of each others lives. We cooked Easter brunch together (or she cooked and I ate WAY too much), we made eclaire cake together (OMG, yum). Last summer I came to visit and we all had the most incredible potluck (shout-out to the "Stinky Salad"). This year, we both had kitchens and we were able to experiment even more. I remember the first time she made me a salad with a fried egg on it. I nearly died. Or making a pumpkin pie a week. Or having steak at her parents' house.

In a show of apology and gratitude to some guy friends who took care of me one best-to-be-forgotten weekend, I made enchiladas in their stunning (albeit disgustingly dirty) kitchen. The next Sunday, she made bolognese. And then one of the guys made chicken parmasean. There in that kitchen, we grew even closer. Whenever she felt inspired to experiment, I reaped the benefits. When I've been sad or upset, there's always been a heaping plate of deliciousness to cheer me up. And I remember one night when she hauled her butt across campus to the news room to bring me some southern corn chowder. I can say without hesitation or any iota of regret that my relationship with J is tied to food, to our shared appreciation for it, to our love for cooking it, for our zeal for eating it. I'm more than excited to share a (much cleaner) kitchen with her in September. The freshman fifteen will be nothing compared to the middler midsection. Bring it on.

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Food is so much more than a life force. It's a bridge connecting me to the people I love. It's a hobby and a skill. It's something I can look forward to. Though my family couldn't always come together and eat dinner (hockey and Scouts and theater and choir kind of mess with the Daniells family calender), we strove to have breakfasts together. And not the cold cereal kind. But omelets and bacon and the good stuff. The kitchen table was, and subsequently always will be, a place of conversation and community. Kind of funny that food can be so simple, but such a binding (and delicious) force. I'm loving it.

Friday, March 11, 2011

On the Subject of Love...

My dad tells this story... When he first found out that my mom was pregnant with me, he was scared. He loved my older brother so much and was worried that he wouldn't be able to love me the same way. But when I came out in all my perfect glory (Ha! I was blue), he says that he felt like that scene in "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," when the Grinch's heart grows and grows. He says he physically felt his heart expand. He didn't have to sacrifice any of the love for my brother in order to make room for me. But his capacity for love just grew.

Bo and I were talking recently about love. When she first started falling in love with P, she says it taught her that she had never really loved K (her high school boyfriend). And now that she and P have broken up, she is afraid that she won't be able to find that same connection with someone else.

Bo and I disagree on the subject of love. As far as my high school boyfriend goes, I have loved others more since, but to me that doesn't discredit what I had with him. The way I see it, I loved him as much as I knew how at the time. And breaking up with him and moving on doesn't mean I don't still love him. I do, but in a drastically different way. My love for my high school boyfriend is something along the lines of thank-you-so-much-for-showing-me-kindness-and-love-and-being-there-for-me-when-I-needed-someone.

Bo is a one-at-a-time kind of gal, but I love love so much that I drown myself in it, in all different kinds of it. I have numerous best friends... and while I realize calling them all "best" kind of kills the point of the word, they are all best for something. One for grumbling about my past and laughing about PQ losers, one for going out and dancing all night, one for hanging out in PJ's and cooking, one for crying to.

And that's how I am with guys, too, I suppose. And, by extension, love. There's my "half boyfriend," who gives me diversity of opinion and conversation and lots of books, but without any of the emotional attachment or stress that comes with a relationship. There's the hopelessly impossible guy that I can't let go of who knows all my secrets because he's the only one who ever bothered to ask. There's the best friend turned crush turned sadly distant memory who calls me things like "pretentious." And then there are the guys I date whom, in a way, I love too.

You know how the eskimos have a bajillion different words for snow? Well I think that there should be more words for love. Four letters can't possibly begin to encompass the meaning of such a complex term. There are so many different genres: family love, love of friends, love-hate complexity, romantic love, romantic lust, love for inanimate objects... how can loving my mascara be the same as loving my mother? Or a boyfriend?

And why should there be a limit? I'm definitely not advocating polyamorous relationships, but maybe I am advocating polyamory... It's a stretch, but still. Why limit ourselves or our capabilities? Why not allow ourselves to love those we once loved, but learn to love again and in new, more profound ways?

I wrote this song once, my senior year of high school about my high school boyfriend, post-break up:

"This brand new love,
Like nothing I've felt before,
Knowing with all the crap that we've been through,
I'd still always be there for you.
And yes, I know it's not the same
And I don't still think of you that way..."

I think it still holds true.

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Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Shis Outgrow Tiny PQ

Once upon a time, I wrote a post titled "Toto, We're Not in PQ Anymore..." about my best friend and our shared childhood and how somewhere between then and now, we grew up.

I talk to Bo on a multiple-times-daily basis. She is my rock and I her's... We'd probably fall apart if we were to be seperated from each other, but somehow by leaning on one another, we form some sort of Tee-pee-esque structure and stay afloat.

Bo recently moved to Georgia, as I've mentioned before. And having her on the same time schedule has been angelic. We talk all the time: Morning text, lunch chats, late-night vent sessions.

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Recently, one of the girls Bo and I grew up with had a baby boy with her husband. Bo and I have been talking about it, trying to decide if the recent birth made us feel old or young.

Honestly, it just makes me feel different. I'm 3,000 miles from home working my butt off in some cubicle. The notion of getting married or having kids sounds so far away, it's almost comical.

From there, the conversation transitioned to other people we went to high school with, particularly the losers we dated. Of all the people I dated or "talked to" or crushed on in high school, none left the state. A couple are in community college, a couple are in UCs or similar schools, and more than one have been through rehab. It's not like I'm attracted to bad boys (goodness, I'm not). But my school just didn't have the finest pickings.

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San Diego does not qualify by any means as a small town. But my little corner of the city (Rancho Penasquitos--shortened to PQ) functions very much like some tiny little podunk town. There are two high schools with enough of a rivalry to create stirs, there is one "town center" with the local hangout (Vons shopping center and Jack-in-the-Box, respectively), there are seasonal carnivals and PTAs.

And for as long as I can remember, I've wanted to get out, to see the world, to try something new. I always felt like my dreams (whatever they were that particular week) were too big for my little neighborhood.

In one of our daily ongoing conversations via various social media and technological networks, Bo wrote "Why do I feel that you and I are the only people from that town growing and changing? Obviously we were born for leaving..." and I got thinking.


Which came first? Was I born for leaving, therefore I grew and changed because I had to adapt in a new world? Or did I grow and change and therefore had to leave to find something bigger and better?

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I'm a city girl now, through and through. I actually looked at apartments with lawns the other day (obviously in other towns) and was turned off by how much space there was between apartments. What personality is there in thick walls? In matching furniture and manicured lawns? How am I supposed to entertain myself at night without being able to eavesdrop on my neighbors late night phone sex?

Whichever came first, Bo, we outgrew our tiny little town. Now, all we gotta do is take on the world. The world is a big place, even if my apartment is 8'x10'. Shi shi shii!!!


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