The Secret Side to Me

The other day, I was drinking pickle juice from the jar, and came to the realization that if someone were to see me doing it, they would think I was insane. It also got me thinking about the many aspects of my life and personality that many people might not know. So now for no apparent reason and just because I wanted to, I compiled a list of 20 various little known facts about Marian Daniells:

1. I drink pickle juice.
2. I don't know what color my eyes are.
3. I once hit an F above high C.
4. I occasionally pee with the door open.
5. I'm not allowed to give blood.
6. I love the word "gritty."
7. I think roses are cliche (except yellow), but love lillies and irises.
8. I can hear two songs in my head at the same time.
9. I frequently whistle "Moonlight Bay" but don't know the words.
10. I send and receive handwritten letters.
11. I like the left side of my face better.
12. I've never kissed a girl.
13. I once considered joining the marines.
14. I've been known to turn in essays riddled with sass. Examples include "Kant the cunt" and a physics paper on applying makeup, complete with diagrams and a glossary.
15. I've started half a dozen books, but never finished one.
16. I don't throw myself birthday parties because my friends are so diverse, I'm worries what would happen if they were all in the same room.
17. I prefer hanging out in small groups of even numbers.
18. Once upon a time, I ran a 6:20 mile.
19. I was a mathlete.
20. I once won a pie eating contest in my bikini.

Noms!!

A Random List of Peeves

I still talk to my parents almost every day… I’m curious to know what’s going on at home and how our limo business is doing and how Chip and Kitty are. On the phone the other day, my dad mentioned that he didn’t know what my “pet peeves” are. So in no particular order and just because I want to, I’ve compiled a list of things that push my buttons.

1. For the life of me, I cannot understand what excuse anyone can have for smelling badly. With countless brands of deodorant, gum and inexpensive body sprays, there’s just no excuse. I don’t care how hot it is outside. You smell like a monkey.
2. I’m all for meandering the city with my girlfriends, but when people decide to walk four people across, on a busy sidewalk, at a glacial pace, it’s war. Blame the New Yorker in me, but there is no excuse. It’s just rude. And if I have to say passive aggressive things or “accidentally” elbow you to get by, your guffawing and bitching is completely unwarranted.
3. Jackhammers.
4. I hate when I’m in the middle of a conversation and the other person says something that I don’t hear. And when I say “what?” they respond “Never mind.” Soooo not okay for numerous reasons. First off, I legit couldn’t hear you. Secondly, by saying never mind, it comes off as if you think that I couldn’t understand what you were trying to convey. And lastly, it totally kills the conversation. Don’t be a murderer; it’s just not cool.
5. Telemarketers.
6. I find it difficult to love “friends” that only ever call about the bad things and drain me of my energy. Basically, any relationship that doesn’t benefit me, as well. It’s exhausting and entirely unfair. I mean I love you, but please don’t drain me of my energy and advice.
7. Hypocrisy. 
8. I can never understand why "larger" people wear clothes so completely inappropriate for their body type. It's distasteful and doesn't help them in the least. There are flattering styles for all body types.
9. I hate hate hate when people take the last bit of toilet paper and don’t replace a roll. No one looks cute running down the hall, sans pants, to grab another roll from the hall closet.
10. This one’s relatively new, but I can’t believe the behavior of people in the dressing rooms of retail shops. Yes, I realize it’s a service industry, but I’m not your maid. You don’t need to bring in a billion different clothes, just to leave them in a heap on the floor so I can pick them up and hang them appropriately. Especially when there’s a line of people waiting for a room and they have to wait until I can muscle everything off your dressing room floor. RUDE.
11. On a similar note, please don’t try on clothes when you have the world’s worst BO. All the Febreze in the world can’t fix it.

Not the greatest alarm clock in the world...

List: And The Nominees Are...

In honor of the Sant Jordi holiday, I’ve compiled a list of literary Marian awards. My favorites in a variety of genres, broken down and spewed back out in all their Brain Barf glory. And the winners are… 

The Honorable Mention goes to Curtis Sittenfeld’s American Wife, which dramatizes the history and complexity of Laura Bush’s life, including the mysterious death of her high school boyfriend. In a freakish way, it also helps to humanize the George Bush character. Sittenfeld has a way of writing so dryly that it’s almost exhausting to read. I devour her books and then am basically comatose for days. They are emotionally draining probably because they are so realistic. Either way, when I finished this book and belatedly realized that it was based loosely on Laura Bush, I started googling her like a madwoman. Turns out she’s everything I respect in a woman: educated, poised, compassionate. She just ended up with a goof of a husband.

Best Chick Lit goes to Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. Call me cliché, but this was a hard category. I just don’t read all that much chick lit. But what is more chick-litty that a classic like Pride and Prejudice? It’s got the scandal, the romance, the wit, the comedy. The town beauty and the brainy sister. Everything is there to fulfill the chick lit category, so I’m sticking with it. 

Best Beach Read goes to Janet Fitch’s White Oleander, which for some reason unbeknownst to me is never on the “contemporary classics” table at bookstores. This book is addicting. It’s disgusting and gritty and pulls the reader in from every angle. When I was analyzing it in high school, I noticed Fitch’s numerous references to music when describing people. It would be casual… Like, as she’s describing what someone is wearing, she mentions the song playing in the background. But when I nerdily (not a word. Whatever) looked up the songs, they capture each character’s personality perfectly. I dub it a beach read because the heat of the sun will make the Santa Ana references throughout the book that much more believable. You can stimulate you senses by both feeling the sun and listening to the music, and drown in the story. Bahh it’s amazing. 

Best Self Help goes to Laura Kipnis’ Against Love, which I admittedly never finished—Not because it wasn’t good, but because it takes a while to digest and I have too many books to read right now. But I like the message that Kipnis argues in her polemic: that love doesn’t exist. Not really, at least. Because love wouldn’t compel us to hurt others. I call it a self help because I think it’s liberating. I consider myself a romantic, which can be immobilizing at times. It’s best to be a little removed from the romance, at least to protect myself, no? For now, at least... 

Best Travel Writing goes to Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love (duh). This book is almost too obvious, but I take it with me everywhere so I need to mention it a little. Gilbert’s story captures so perfectly her sense of self. With her stories broken down into short little anecdotes, they are digestible. There’s variety because she travels through three different countries. Liz Gilbert made me want to be a writer. I stole her book from my mom, who got it for a book club. And I’ve hoarded it ever since. My copy (or mine now) is worn and torn and loved. It’s my bible, so to speak. It’s perfect. 

Best Historical Fiction goes to Colum McCann’s Let The Great World Spin, which dictates the story of numerous New Yorkers and their various reactions/involvement in the 1974 tight rope walk between the twin towers. The basis seems relatively simple, but then McCann reveals how each of the seemingly unconnected characters influence one another’s lives. It’s Six Degrees Theory meets the Vietnam War meets some super awesome French acrobat. I bought the book on a whim in the Netherlands and didn’t put it down. Ahh-mayzz-ing.

Best Dystopia goes to Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale. I’ve never read any of Atwood’s other books, but I definitely will now. While it takes too long to summarize this baby, suffice to say that Atwood’s feminist rant definitely has an impression on any female reader. The leading lady is name Offred. Meaning “of Fred.” Sad, sick, and twisted. You won’t put it down.

Best Laugh-Out-Loud Comedy goes to Hilary Winston’s My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me. Comes out May 3, more info about it later. But I basically peed my pants. It’s made for any woman who has had her heart broken, has ever dated someone who turned out to be gay, anyone with a sense of humor, and especially those of us who own/love cats. Hilarious, hilarious, hilarious. Pre-order it from Amazon stat.

Best Gritty Memoir goes to Margaux Gragoso’s Tiger, Tiger, which I can’t bring myself to put down. It’s like watching a car crash, only instead of witnessing a massive, unfeeling ball of steel mash into another, I’m witnessing a young girl die inside and wither away. It’s both gross and engrossing and probably one of the most mind-numbing (in a good way) books I’ve ever read. It’s sad to see the manipulation of the modern Humbert and the raw emotion of the young Lolita-slash-Margaux. It’s dirty and gritty and sad, but what’s sadder is that the young Margaux truly does love her pedophile, in the simplest, sickest way imaginable. Oof.

Happy (early) Sant Jordi!

Breakup Guru's Guide for Girls

I’m no relationship expert, nor do I pretend to be. But I still get calls from girlfriends whenever they’re in a boy-related sitch. It always baffled me a little; I mean I’ve read about relationships, and certainly tried my hand at them. But, sadly I have an innate way of sabotaging them.

Retrospect is a beautiful thing. The perspective is very wise, but it’s also a slap in the face. As Cinderella sings, “You don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone.” And oh have I abused boys and relationships without realizing that they’re spectacular until I’m left alone. Again.

The worst is that I do it to myself. I put up walls. I break up with people because I know I should, though I may not really want to. As a Gemini, there are two sides to all my stories. Unfortunately, one side tries to keep me from getting hurt and, as such, ruins my chances of being happy in a relationship, too.

Depressing brain barf aside, I realized that though I may not be a relationship expert, I’m quite the breakup guru. And though I may not have relationship success stories, I do have lots of super awesome single girl stories.

Downtrodden women from far and wide seek out my services to help them overcome the heartbreak. So now, ladies (gentlemen, this post is so not for you), I present to you the failproof guide to getting over it. Hold it dear. After all, I’m a guru.

1. Hide your iPod. Oof, nothing is worse than a mopey, post-breakup girl listening to love songs. No, no, no. No slow country music, no Ben Folds, no first dance songs. I have a playlist on my iTunes that is specifically for times like this. It’s the only thing I let myself listen to. Highlights include “Cheated” by Mike Posner and “A Toast to Men” by Willa Ford and “I Hate College (Remix)” by Sam Adams (“single doesn’t mean I’m looking for somebody”). It’s all fast-paced, pre-gaming music. No piano.

2. Head to the grocery store. This is great for a couple of reasons. First off, it’s a public place so it’s not like you’ll feel inclined to cry when you’re surrounded by vegetables and strangers. It’s also a major distraction; when I shop, there’re way too many lists going through my head to fit any drama. Lastly, though, it’s time to be comfortably with myself and feel inspired. I eat incredibly well that first night because I can go home and set aside the time. I call up girlfriends and make them asparagus (my fave) and something yummy. And stock up on alcohol. Whatever floats your boat.

3. Get angry. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that being angry is perhaps the best thing one can do to get over someone. Anger trumps sadness and heartbreak, and it motivates us to act more primal, to dare ourselves to don something crazy and hit the town. Anger is spiteful. But it’s liberating. In anger, there is freedom. So find some minor miniscule thing (or something to justifiably be angry about) and blow it up. Get angry and let it fill you. You can always apologize later.

4. Be selfish. This is my favorite part; I might even break up with someone just to have reason to indulge. Unfortunately, it’s also the part that many people overlook. Oftentimes during breakups, ladies are concerned about the other person being mean or hurt or attractive. The thing about a breakup, though, is that it’s a breakup. Break. Up. There aren’t two people to the equation anymore. It’s just you, baby.

The benefit of that is that all your focus can be on you. I always say that it’s important to treat yourself well because if you don’t, how can you reasonably expect anyone else to. Breakups are a time to renew one’s commitment to oneself and then take out the credit card.

Shop. Cook a steak. Go on a new diet. Buy a gym membership. Get a pedicure or a massage. The energy from breakups is amazing. Suddenly, you have all this time and money and energy that you’re not exerting on some smelly boy that you can finally splurge on yourself. I’ve never been skinnier than post-breakup. Never had better looking toe nails.

It’s important to note, however, that you’re not primping to try to “win him back.” Ack. If things work out down the line, good for you. But never assume they will. This is a time for you. Enjoy it. Read a book you’ve been putting off. Apply for a new job. Attend a wine tasting class… The list is endless.

5. Find your vice. Another favorite… this is the opportunity to do somethin’ crazy. Die your hair (my preferred method), get a tattoo, smoke a cigarette, dance on a table, make out with a stranger. Whatever. Harness that bad girl that we all have hidden not-so-deeply below the surface and go crazy. As a side note, the benefits of this step are multiplied when the devious deed is done whilst wearing red lipstick and liquid leggings… just saying.

6. Fill your time. I briefly mentioned this in the other posts, but finding something to fill your time with is crucial. One beloved friend combined this step with "Get angry" and started a blog about the breakup process. Another meditates and does yoga. Whatever it takes, find a way to fill your time. Alone time is thinking time is moping time. Not acceptable.

7. Be single. This one is important because there are so many people that jump from one relationship to another. Or, if you’re like me, you keep a couple of back-burner options, people who I can call up and rekindle something with so that I don’t feel so alone. It’s a problem, I know. And I hurt myself and others by doing it, which is why I stress this point.

Be single. It’s a time to revel in one’s awesomeness and stop to smell the roses. I like to tell myself that “happiness is a conscious decision.” And I genuinely believe that. There are times when making that decision is a little bit more challenging than others, but choose to be happy and you will be.

Ever notice that when you finally stop actively looking for someone, you find them? There's a sexiness to being so happy and nonchalant. And there's a strength in realizing that you don't need someone else to make you happy. I was once with someone who thought I was too independent. He wanted me to "need" him. I told him that the fact that I didn't need him, but chose to be with him anyway should say something more, but he disagreed. I broke up with him.

There is nothing wrong with being single, nothing wrong with girls' night outs and cooking for one. Be single. Savor it. You've got the rest of your life to spend sharing toothpaste with someone.

A (Not So) Far-Off Future... My List of When-I-Get-the-Chances

So remember that list of ShouldaWouldaCouldas? (By the way, I totally forgot to add being in the Marines to that list)…

On a seemingly unrelated note, both my parents had very interesting, very different childhoods. Without going into too much detail, each had their pros and cons. So it’s interesting to take that knowledge and look back at my own upbringing. Without my parent’s experiences (both good and bad), I would have been raised differently, as well.

Anyway, I finished reading a book recently called A Reading Promise by Alice Ozma which comes out the first week in May. Anyway, it just got me thinking about fathers and daughters and raising kids in general. And while I know that I’m light years (please) from having kids, I still know there are some things I’ve taken from my childhood that I will apply to my own kids. And there are also those things that I didn’t necessarily experience but that I think I might have benefited from.

So now, for no apparent reason, and just because I want to, here’s a list of things I hope to do for my kid(s). It’s the opposite of my ShouldaWouldaCouldas; it’s my When-I-Get-The-Chances:

• I will read to my kids. I will read out loud to them. I will read next to them. I will read at them. I will drown those darn spawn in all the classics. And the non-classics. And the funnies. Whatever it takes, my kids will appreciate the written word.
• I will teach my kids about religion. Note, I will not necessarily bring them up in a religion. I can’t help but feel it’s a little hypocritical of me to do that when I’m so religiously ambiguous. But they will go, however begrudgingly, on Christmas and Easter, decked out in the most ridiculous, foofy outfits I can get my hands on. They will know the importance of religion.
• I will ask my kids to write. It doesn’t matter what they write or for how long, but I want my kids to keep some sort of journal. I realize that asking kids to do that is near impossible, but I will do everything in my power to make it happen. And part of that means giving them privacy. However tempting, I will never read my children’s journals without their approval. In those pages, they can say whatever they like, they can vent and complain and share the intimate details of their way-too-young-to-be-having-sex lives. It will be for their eyes and theirs alone.
• I will hug them. This seems like an obvious, but I still love hugs and kissed form my parents. My kids will feel that same love.
• I will teach them. This seems obvious, too. But I mean really teach them. I will be one of those psycho moms buying Baby Einstein videos and putting headphones on my preggo belly. It’s a crazy world out there and I would hope that I can do everything possible early on to help my kids succeed.
• This one’s still in the works, but I don’t think I want my kids to work. It may have been because of my living environment (where work was expected), but I felt immense pressure to work and it often took priority over schoolwork. Though I’d encourage them to work during the summers, during school, the one and only priority is class. Then extra curriculars and sports. Then a healthy social life. Then work. Internships may be a slight middle ground that will require a conversation.
• I will put them through music lessons, especially any girls. This sounds sexist and maybe it is, but there is something so quintessentially beautiful and lovely about a woman who can play the piano. And yes I realize that few of the Austen heroines were ever very good at it, but they knew how.
• They will play sports. Sports are beneficial for many reasons. Obviously they help to keep kids in shape, but they also foster a sense of community and competition, both of which are necessary to avoid “Single Child Syndrome.”
• I will have pets. They’re fluffy. Plus, pets and kids tend to wear each other out. It’s a win-win.

You know, come to think of it, that’s a long list. Kids are a big freaking deal, aren’t they (duh). What I didn’t mention above, however, is that I will also work. I may change my mind (kinda depends on the hubby situation), but I want to still maintain that sense of self, that sense of purpose. I need to know.

Inspired by my own mother, I long ago made a commitment to myself that I won’t marry or start a family until I know that I am capable of taking care of myself and them. God forbid anything happen—divorce, death, illness—I need to know in my heart of hearts that I can keep everybody afloat. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I have to be working the whole time. If the situation deems that I should be a stay-at-home soccer mom, I will. But I need that knowledge for myself and my potential family.

Anyway, that ended on such a morbid tone. More than morbid, it’s just iffy. The world of When-I-Get-the-Chances is much more overwhelming that the world of ShouldaWouldaCouldas, perhaps because it looms, ever-present, in the far-off but still visible future. I mean, I’m 18. I always just assumed I’d get married in my late-20s. So I have about a decade to live out my single craziness before becoming domesticated. Or maybe that’s what marriage and kids are, anyway: domestication.

As a random, irrelevant side note, all this makes me sound like some wild dog that needs to be housebroken. Woof?

Old Habits Die Hard

I’ve been spending my morning looking up crazy holidays that no one ever celebrates. I love using them as tie-ins for stories and they oftentimes prompt good story ideas, anyway. I know I’m way ahead of the game here, but May 9th is apparently Tear the Tags Off the Mattress Day. I’m loving it.

I never understood why it’s apparently a crime to rip off a piece of fabric. Yet, I’ll admit that I’ve never done it. Anyway, as usual the idea prompted some thoughts annnnd obviously a blog post. I just got thinking… What other useless information do I just listen to and accept as normal even if it isn’t? What habits do I still maintain even though they are no longer relevant?

I’ve had a Word document open on my screen for a bit and compiled a list. In no particular order and just because I want to, here’s a list of all the random habits or silly rules that make no sense to me:

• Look both ways when you cross the street: not as useful when you live on a tiny deserted island with one-way streets.
• I always take the first stair with my right foot. I’ve tried switching it up and just faceplant.
• Knocking on doors: why not kick it?
• The customer is always right: bullllllpucky the customer is NOT always right. I find it hilariously hypocritical that establishments enforce that mentality, yet have signs that say “We maintain the right to refuse service to anyone.” There should be a fine print that reads “but we’ll let you bring in your perfectly fine coffees for free refills even though we know you just go from Starbucks to Starbucks, you lazy bum.”
• Forks: why does the fork go on the left when most people are right-handed and the fork is the most prominently used utensil?
• Cash: for one of my SAT test essays, I argued that we should completely eliminate cash. And I think there’s a case for it. With everything on plastic, we’d save a lot of money we spend manufacturing. And maybe beggars would believe me when I tell them I don’t carry cash (I don’t).
• Say cheese for the camera: say whatttt?
• Picking up the phone: apparently, in 1877, Thomas Edison wrote a letter to the president of the Telegraph Company in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, suggesting that when people answer the phone, they use the word "Hello" instead of the word "Ahoy" suggested by Alexander Graham Bell.
• Ringback tones: I don’t need to know your (lack of) taste in music.
• Labor Day: what exactly are we celebrating, except the death of our right to wear white?

2011 Bucket List (and Update)

So I've mentioned my bucket list a couple times on here already, so I figured I'd re-post it.

Basically... I’m not a believer in New Year’s resolutions. I just think they tend to revolve too much around losing weight and looking better and petty bullpucky that sparks a temporary spike in gym and diet industry revenues and doesn’t budge the scale a notch. Plus, I’m don’t have enough will power to diet, so I take a different approach to the New Year.

I write a lot of lists. When something gets onto a list (and the list gets organized and color-coded as necessary), things get done. My annual bucket list is a proactive approach to the New Year; I'm not trying to change anything or do anything ridiculously drastic. I'm just challenging myself to try new things and since it's all written down (and posted on the Internet), I'm held accountable.

Rather than doing a life bucket list--which is so far reaching and difficult to tackle--I do annual ones. That way, there is a finite deadline. This is my third bucket list and the last two years have been extremely successful. Each year, I have one or two big things and several other smaller--but no less significant--things. I challenge myself to have a longer list every year.

My 2011 Bucket List is below, along with notes and updates. A month and a half in, I've got 1/10 done. Not bad, but some of the biggies are still on there. If you feel a burning need to help me accomplish any or just want to share ideas, let me know!! I've also inspired other people (friends, Mom, Dad) to write their own lists. When you put them online, old friends come out of the woodwork dying to help you accomplish a goal or to share their own passions with you. What's on your bucket list??

1. Move to New York.
2. Do something crazy.
3. Visit the South.
4. Dance on a table.
5. Host a dinner party.
6. Write a letter to a political figure.
7. Raise $500 for a charity. [working on it!! Donate to my RELAY FOR LIFE team!]
8. Sing karaoke.
9. Send poetry in to get published.
10. Find the best coffee house in the city.
11. See a show.
12. Try speed dating.
13. Learn to photograph.
14. Buy myself a Michael Kors watch.
15. Spend a weekend in D.C.
16. Take a roadtrip.
17. Find an excuse to wear a tiara.
18. Read 5 books on my list.
19. Design an outfit.
20. Make business cards.
21. Volunteer a week in Costa Rica.
22. See Austin.
23. Have a shower beer.
24. Perfect my dougie.
25. Have frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity III.
26. Go to a concert.
27. Skinny dip.
28. Spend a Sunday volunteering with The Breakfast Club.
29. Picnic in Central Park.
30. Toast our Sep. apartment with champagne.
31. Skateboard to class.
32. Get a Boston Athenaeum membership.
33. Go to a BRUINS game.
34. Go to the top of the Empire State Building.
35. Slow dance.
36. Visit every Manhattan bridge. [work in progress]
37. Learn something new.
38. Have lunch on the Staten Island Ferry.
39. Wear fake eyelashes.
40. Waitress.
41. Have three differently themed dinner parties.
42. Buy myself some letters.
43. Visit Canada.
44. Get better at French.
45. Send Amanda a care package.
46. Take a dance class.
47. Spend a day on the beach.
48. Watch all the epic movies that I never did. [I got a Netflix account :) send me suggestions]
49. Plant an herb garden.
50. Write my number on a bathroom stall.
51. Help make Thanksgiving dinner.
52. Send in a Postsecret.
53. Write a note and leave it in a book.
54. Learn to master a stick shift.
55. Do a cartwheel.
56. Kiss someone under the mistletoe.
57. Pay for the person behind me in a drive thru.
58. Sneak someone into the Webster.
59. Get a massage.
60. Bartend.
61. Create a poster memorializing random quotes.
62. Take a CPR course.
63. Take a ride in a town car.
64. Make something for the apartment.
65. Start a journal (again).
66. Create a drink.
67. Give someone a piggy back ride.
68. Shake hands with the Editor in Chief.
69. Take myself on a date.
70. Talk someone into going to school.
71. Buy myself a dress without a reason to wear it.
72. Find a place to wear said dress.
73. Dress like Jackie O.
74. Play an intramural sport.
75. Try a new Ben N Jerrys flavor.
76. Blog once per week. [more like 5x a day]
    
77. Get to know someone in every Greek organization.
78. Force a guy to come over and put up shelves (ha).
79. Start a tradition.
80. Read every night M-Th.

In Another Life... My List of ShouldaWouldaCouldas

I've mentioned before how I have what my parents have deemed "Salad Dressing Syndrome." Basically, I have difficulty making decisions, including which salad dressing I want. So, instead, I pour them all on for a little taste of everything.

Unfortunately, with the big decisions like where do I want to go to college, I haven't yet found a way to overcome the whole space-time continuum. So I am forced to make decisions.

When I finally decided on Northeastern--a school that I am immensely happy at--I cried. Rather than feeling thrilled at the idea that I was starting off on some new, wild adventure, I felt robbed of all the potential lives I could have lived had I gone down some other path.

With every decision I make, every fork in the road, I have to choose one path. And as I move down the road, I make more decisions. There's only one ultimate route I can take through my mess of a exponentially growing tree of potential. And that makes me sad.

Let it be noted, however, that I do happen to luurrvv my current place. I just wish I could live several lives at once :)

So here is a (likely incomplete) compilation of all the things I shouldawouldacoulda done had I picked some different paths:

• Continued dance
• Learned the piano
• Learned French before puberty so I could be fluent in it
• Gone to school at the University of Kent
• Taken photography in high school
• Not taken so many APs in high school (and had a bit more fun!)
• Had a long term boyfriend
• Taken a year off from school
• Volunteered abroad
• Been religious
• Stayed vegetarian
• Gone to yoga on a regular basis
• Kept a diligent journal
• Taken more photographs
• Not hit my eye in Supercuts haha
• Biked with my mom
• Learned to cook
• Taken an etiquette class
• Gotten my drivers license at 16 like a normal person
• Learned to surf
• Ridden horses
• Learned more about cars
• Continued painting

In a way this list is kind of depressing because it represents all my shouldawouldacouldas, but it's also inspiring because it's a reminder that I have to do things when I have the opportunity. Many of these things I haven't missed the window for. Be sure to look out for them on future Bucket Lists!