Breakup Guru's Guide for Girls

I’m no relationship expert, nor do I pretend to be. But I still get calls from girlfriends whenever they’re in a boy-related sitch. It always baffled me a little; I mean I’ve read about relationships, and certainly tried my hand at them. But, sadly I have an innate way of sabotaging them.

Retrospect is a beautiful thing. The perspective is very wise, but it’s also a slap in the face. As Cinderella sings, “You don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone.” And oh have I abused boys and relationships without realizing that they’re spectacular until I’m left alone. Again.

The worst is that I do it to myself. I put up walls. I break up with people because I know I should, though I may not really want to. As a Gemini, there are two sides to all my stories. Unfortunately, one side tries to keep me from getting hurt and, as such, ruins my chances of being happy in a relationship, too.

Depressing brain barf aside, I realized that though I may not be a relationship expert, I’m quite the breakup guru. And though I may not have relationship success stories, I do have lots of super awesome single girl stories.

Downtrodden women from far and wide seek out my services to help them overcome the heartbreak. So now, ladies (gentlemen, this post is so not for you), I present to you the failproof guide to getting over it. Hold it dear. After all, I’m a guru.

1. Hide your iPod. Oof, nothing is worse than a mopey, post-breakup girl listening to love songs. No, no, no. No slow country music, no Ben Folds, no first dance songs. I have a playlist on my iTunes that is specifically for times like this. It’s the only thing I let myself listen to. Highlights include “Cheated” by Mike Posner and “A Toast to Men” by Willa Ford and “I Hate College (Remix)” by Sam Adams (“single doesn’t mean I’m looking for somebody”). It’s all fast-paced, pre-gaming music. No piano.

2. Head to the grocery store. This is great for a couple of reasons. First off, it’s a public place so it’s not like you’ll feel inclined to cry when you’re surrounded by vegetables and strangers. It’s also a major distraction; when I shop, there’re way too many lists going through my head to fit any drama. Lastly, though, it’s time to be comfortably with myself and feel inspired. I eat incredibly well that first night because I can go home and set aside the time. I call up girlfriends and make them asparagus (my fave) and something yummy. And stock up on alcohol. Whatever floats your boat.

3. Get angry. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that being angry is perhaps the best thing one can do to get over someone. Anger trumps sadness and heartbreak, and it motivates us to act more primal, to dare ourselves to don something crazy and hit the town. Anger is spiteful. But it’s liberating. In anger, there is freedom. So find some minor miniscule thing (or something to justifiably be angry about) and blow it up. Get angry and let it fill you. You can always apologize later.

4. Be selfish. This is my favorite part; I might even break up with someone just to have reason to indulge. Unfortunately, it’s also the part that many people overlook. Oftentimes during breakups, ladies are concerned about the other person being mean or hurt or attractive. The thing about a breakup, though, is that it’s a breakup. Break. Up. There aren’t two people to the equation anymore. It’s just you, baby.

The benefit of that is that all your focus can be on you. I always say that it’s important to treat yourself well because if you don’t, how can you reasonably expect anyone else to. Breakups are a time to renew one’s commitment to oneself and then take out the credit card.

Shop. Cook a steak. Go on a new diet. Buy a gym membership. Get a pedicure or a massage. The energy from breakups is amazing. Suddenly, you have all this time and money and energy that you’re not exerting on some smelly boy that you can finally splurge on yourself. I’ve never been skinnier than post-breakup. Never had better looking toe nails.

It’s important to note, however, that you’re not primping to try to “win him back.” Ack. If things work out down the line, good for you. But never assume they will. This is a time for you. Enjoy it. Read a book you’ve been putting off. Apply for a new job. Attend a wine tasting class… The list is endless.

5. Find your vice. Another favorite… this is the opportunity to do somethin’ crazy. Die your hair (my preferred method), get a tattoo, smoke a cigarette, dance on a table, make out with a stranger. Whatever. Harness that bad girl that we all have hidden not-so-deeply below the surface and go crazy. As a side note, the benefits of this step are multiplied when the devious deed is done whilst wearing red lipstick and liquid leggings… just saying.

6. Fill your time. I briefly mentioned this in the other posts, but finding something to fill your time with is crucial. One beloved friend combined this step with "Get angry" and started a blog about the breakup process. Another meditates and does yoga. Whatever it takes, find a way to fill your time. Alone time is thinking time is moping time. Not acceptable.

7. Be single. This one is important because there are so many people that jump from one relationship to another. Or, if you’re like me, you keep a couple of back-burner options, people who I can call up and rekindle something with so that I don’t feel so alone. It’s a problem, I know. And I hurt myself and others by doing it, which is why I stress this point.

Be single. It’s a time to revel in one’s awesomeness and stop to smell the roses. I like to tell myself that “happiness is a conscious decision.” And I genuinely believe that. There are times when making that decision is a little bit more challenging than others, but choose to be happy and you will be.

Ever notice that when you finally stop actively looking for someone, you find them? There's a sexiness to being so happy and nonchalant. And there's a strength in realizing that you don't need someone else to make you happy. I was once with someone who thought I was too independent. He wanted me to "need" him. I told him that the fact that I didn't need him, but chose to be with him anyway should say something more, but he disagreed. I broke up with him.

There is nothing wrong with being single, nothing wrong with girls' night outs and cooking for one. Be single. Savor it. You've got the rest of your life to spend sharing toothpaste with someone.

Today's Obsession: Faux Fur

Not that I can tell since I'm cooped up in my cubicle, but it's supposedly 75 degrees outside. I'm not wearing pants. Or tights. Scandalous, I know. And while it dips down to some lower temperatures this week, it looks like the snow/hail/whatever-weather.com-deems-as-"wintry-mix" is gone and spring has sprung.

And while I'm all about being forward-thinking, I figured this long winter deserved one last stand. So today's obsession is this faux fur pull-through scarf from some random infomercial (NOTE: the one pictured below is the wrong color). I got talking about fur with my grandmother this weekend and it got me thinking. This scarf has all the color to draw way too much attention, but is politically correct, too. Since I'll be living a mile from campus and walking to class, this baby will surely keep me warm next winter.

As an extra bonus, I think this applies to the past link about wearing classic clothes. From loin cloths to PETA demonstrations, fur has never gone out of style. The only difference is that it's cheap! Obsessed.

Luxe Rachel Zoe Faux Fur Pull-through Scarf in Red Fox (not pictured), $29

Today's Obsession: Paris Post-Its

Happy Post-It Day!! Say what? You didn’t know that April 6 was Post-It Day? Well shame on you for not going through all the most insane holidays and neurotically writing them down in your Lilly Pulitzer planner along with ideas for how to incorporate them into your equally neurotic blog.

I, on the other hand, do scour the internet on random holiday searches. Not that I ever really need a reason to celebrate, but I feel a bit more festive when I have one. Anywayyyy, as anyone who knows me or has seen the aforementioned Lilly Pulitzer planner (or my computer screen) can attest, I’m a bit of a Post-It freak. I write lists on them, I keep notes on them, I always try to mix up the colors (neon, never pastel).

And these Paris-themed sticky notes are absolutely adorable! I can’t take too much credit because my boss has them, but I’m nonetheless obsessed (that rhymed). I may actually have a crush on inanimate pieces of paper; let’s try not to judge. The Arc de Triumph, the Tour Eiffel, the Musee d’Orsay, "Oh my!!" Obsessed.

Paris Sticky Notes from Bas Bleu, $15

What I'm Reading: A Polemic

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (But really, it was four years ago in an office in Providence), there was a naïve little girl who have no clue what she wanted to do with her life. Actually, at that point, I--SPOILER ALERT: the little girl is me—was actually toying with the idea of being a classics major and working as a curator type. Boy was I wrong.
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That fateful summer, I wasted away the first few friendless days shopping in the bookstore on Thayer Street. I picked up some Jane Austen fan lit, which was remarkably unremarkable, and this book called Full Frontal Feminism by Jessica Valenti. Valenti, who filled pages of empowering, but still well-organized, arguments with satire and sarcasm, inspired me.

And for our final assignment in a writing class that I signed up for because I hoped it would help my college application process, we had to write about a particular subject. Anything. Inspired by a chapter in Valenti’s book about sex education in schools, I started reading and researching. I collected everything from studies to song lyrics (“You and me baby aint nothing but mammals/ So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel”) and compiled them haphazardly in a Word document, padded with personal anecdotes and experiences.
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That fateful day, I found myself cross-legged on the floor of my professor’s office, where we had printed, cut apart, and scattered all of my paragraphs. We then laboriously worked to fit them back together into paragraphs that flowed and presented my argument in an organized fashion.

There, on the floor of that office, Brain Barf was born.

Once my argument was a little more cohesive, my professor got to reading. And, to my unexpected happiness, was actually very happy with the outcome. She liked my voice and how I was very one-sided in my debate. She called it a polemic. And when I asked what in the world a polemic was (it admittedly sounds like a plague), she pulled down a book from her shelves, a book she suggested I read that I looked up on Amazon once and forgot about entirely.
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Last week, that book just so happened to be delivered to Marie Claire. So I’ve been reading. And while there’s so much personality in the writing that sometimes I have to wade through the “voice” to get to the point, I’m thoroughly enjoying it thus far.

"Will all the adulterers in the room please stand up?"

In Against Love: A Polemic, Laura Kipnis looks at love and all the problems that it creates. She looks at it like a social institution, but then goes further, evaluating it through the lens of Marxist institutional theory. While I haven’t gotten much further than the intro, I’m deeply fascinated by a book that incorporates a reader’s advisory. It’s as though Kipnis is daring the reader to challenge her.

And the writing style is, obviously, that of a polemicist. It’s one-sided and biased, but Kipnis acknowledges her lack of diversity in opinion and goes on to challenge contemporary thought anyway.

As a self-proclaimed romantic who’s enough of a realist to realize that my thoughts are just that—romantic—I’m finding it immensely entertaining. However, it's also a bit depressing at times; comparing a relationship to the Industrial Revolution can have that affect. I’ll keep you posted.

Against Love: A Polemic by Laura Kipnis, $11.20

Today's Obsession: Flying Pigs

As much as I love it, New York still admittedly has a way of wearing me down. Maybe it's the fact that it's snowing. Still. In April. Or maybe it's the fact that I don't eat. Or that I'm poor. Or that there's no levity to my day. Maybe it's the fact that my person is here, while my life is still in Boston. Or the catcalls at 9 a.m. on a Tuesday morning (really? Does that ever work out for you?). Maybe it's the fact that every time I leave someplace people ask me if I'll be safe getting home. Or the fact that even if I'm in the biggest city, I still interact with few, if any, people and curl up alone with the silence to lull me to sleep.

But then I remember this is New York, home of glittering lights and eccentric freakshows. People write songs about this place and drop everything to move from their podunk little towns to come here. Lives and love and jobs are centered around this tiny island. Here, in this slummed down city of grit and grime are some of the shiniest celebrities and skyscrapers. There's history written everywhere. And everywhere, there's history being written.

Here, on this Sepia-tinted island of the schizophrenics, it's easy to forget the positives. But the truth is that I do love New York. And I also love New York art. I'm not talking about the Met or MoMA. I mean real New York art that captures this place.

And while I give a big shout-out to this cuff bracelet, which has a taste of New York, I've been long-obsessed with this art piece. According to the artist description... "Made with actual vintage New York Times front pages, found paper, paint, tissue, cutout letters and even a few dollar bills, this piece is an original take on the MTA Subway Map, incorporating not only the subway lines but the noisy, jumbled scrapbook of neighborhoods and districts."

I have no clue what the original piece went for and it's not available, but there are relatively cheap print copies which, when matted and framed, would be pretty darn snazzy. The best part of all, I have to say, is the flying pig. As Post columnist Cindy Adams would say, "Only in New York, kids. Only in New York." Obsessed.

New York City Subway 8 x 10 paper print on etsy, $20

A (Not So) Far-Off Future... My List of When-I-Get-the-Chances

So remember that list of ShouldaWouldaCouldas? (By the way, I totally forgot to add being in the Marines to that list)…

On a seemingly unrelated note, both my parents had very interesting, very different childhoods. Without going into too much detail, each had their pros and cons. So it’s interesting to take that knowledge and look back at my own upbringing. Without my parent’s experiences (both good and bad), I would have been raised differently, as well.

Anyway, I finished reading a book recently called A Reading Promise by Alice Ozma which comes out the first week in May. Anyway, it just got me thinking about fathers and daughters and raising kids in general. And while I know that I’m light years (please) from having kids, I still know there are some things I’ve taken from my childhood that I will apply to my own kids. And there are also those things that I didn’t necessarily experience but that I think I might have benefited from.

So now, for no apparent reason, and just because I want to, here’s a list of things I hope to do for my kid(s). It’s the opposite of my ShouldaWouldaCouldas; it’s my When-I-Get-The-Chances:

• I will read to my kids. I will read out loud to them. I will read next to them. I will read at them. I will drown those darn spawn in all the classics. And the non-classics. And the funnies. Whatever it takes, my kids will appreciate the written word.
• I will teach my kids about religion. Note, I will not necessarily bring them up in a religion. I can’t help but feel it’s a little hypocritical of me to do that when I’m so religiously ambiguous. But they will go, however begrudgingly, on Christmas and Easter, decked out in the most ridiculous, foofy outfits I can get my hands on. They will know the importance of religion.
• I will ask my kids to write. It doesn’t matter what they write or for how long, but I want my kids to keep some sort of journal. I realize that asking kids to do that is near impossible, but I will do everything in my power to make it happen. And part of that means giving them privacy. However tempting, I will never read my children’s journals without their approval. In those pages, they can say whatever they like, they can vent and complain and share the intimate details of their way-too-young-to-be-having-sex lives. It will be for their eyes and theirs alone.
• I will hug them. This seems like an obvious, but I still love hugs and kissed form my parents. My kids will feel that same love.
• I will teach them. This seems obvious, too. But I mean really teach them. I will be one of those psycho moms buying Baby Einstein videos and putting headphones on my preggo belly. It’s a crazy world out there and I would hope that I can do everything possible early on to help my kids succeed.
• This one’s still in the works, but I don’t think I want my kids to work. It may have been because of my living environment (where work was expected), but I felt immense pressure to work and it often took priority over schoolwork. Though I’d encourage them to work during the summers, during school, the one and only priority is class. Then extra curriculars and sports. Then a healthy social life. Then work. Internships may be a slight middle ground that will require a conversation.
• I will put them through music lessons, especially any girls. This sounds sexist and maybe it is, but there is something so quintessentially beautiful and lovely about a woman who can play the piano. And yes I realize that few of the Austen heroines were ever very good at it, but they knew how.
• They will play sports. Sports are beneficial for many reasons. Obviously they help to keep kids in shape, but they also foster a sense of community and competition, both of which are necessary to avoid “Single Child Syndrome.”
• I will have pets. They’re fluffy. Plus, pets and kids tend to wear each other out. It’s a win-win.

You know, come to think of it, that’s a long list. Kids are a big freaking deal, aren’t they (duh). What I didn’t mention above, however, is that I will also work. I may change my mind (kinda depends on the hubby situation), but I want to still maintain that sense of self, that sense of purpose. I need to know.

Inspired by my own mother, I long ago made a commitment to myself that I won’t marry or start a family until I know that I am capable of taking care of myself and them. God forbid anything happen—divorce, death, illness—I need to know in my heart of hearts that I can keep everybody afloat. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I have to be working the whole time. If the situation deems that I should be a stay-at-home soccer mom, I will. But I need that knowledge for myself and my potential family.

Anyway, that ended on such a morbid tone. More than morbid, it’s just iffy. The world of When-I-Get-the-Chances is much more overwhelming that the world of ShouldaWouldaCouldas, perhaps because it looms, ever-present, in the far-off but still visible future. I mean, I’m 18. I always just assumed I’d get married in my late-20s. So I have about a decade to live out my single craziness before becoming domesticated. Or maybe that’s what marriage and kids are, anyway: domestication.

As a random, irrelevant side note, all this makes me sound like some wild dog that needs to be housebroken. Woof?

Today's Obsession: Zara

I've been working on tomorrow's daily obsession, which ought to be a biggie. But as I was browsing the web, I came across this half-sexy-half-sweet little black number from Zara (a recent obsession many thanks to Laura, who is quickly taking over my blogosphere).

I'm being kidnapped this weekend. Laura and J decided to team up and buy me bus tickets to and from Boston so that I can come to this year's Kappa spring formal. Ummm I'm obviously too excited to breathe. Given the spontaneity of the decision and the current state of my bank account, however, I will be raiding closets for the super awesome event. But that isn't to say I haven't been looking at dresses.

I found this amazing LBD and just know I need to buy it. Whether I wear it to semi formal in fall or whether it sits in the back of my closet, this dress is too sexy to leave to chance. Number 71 on my Bucket List reads: "Buy myself a dress without a reason to wear it." And number 72 is subsequently "Find a place to wear said dress."

Well, ladies and gentlemen, this is it. I don't know when, but I'ma buy this baby stat. I can't help it, nor be held accountable. I'm. Just. So. Obsessed.

STUDIO DRESS from Zara, $160

Ventfest: The New Journalism

Ever since I declared myself a journalism major, I've run into the pestering naysayers that genuinely think they are the first people to ever inform me of the fact that the news industry is dying. Thank you, kind sir. But I realize that.

The thing that people don't realize is that the news industry isn't dying at all; it's just changing.

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Cons (Because I like to save the best for last)

Some changes are, admittedly, sad. Big names buying up or dissolving small town publications is sad, and newspapers of all sizes that fizzle out is the worst of all. Ultimately, I'm a huge fan of multiple news sources. The competition means that every journalist has to constantly be on their toes. Everyone is digging for the next big story. And because there is competition, there is no shortage of exposes; no political figure can pay off Rupert Murdoch and avoid having his life story exposed to the public eye. And with smaller newspapers, there really is the potential for the news to serve its purpose and provide readers with the comprehensive information that they need.

With the incorporation of the Internet, there are some benefits to the media (see below). But unfortunately, there are also some major pitfalls. Readers who resort to online methods of news miss out on the reading experience of a hard copy, good-ol'-fashioned newspaper. As one beloved grandma proxy explained, oftentimes she'll read the paper and end up reading a story about, say, Uganda that she wouldn't have clicked open on a website. The Internet is about functionality and speed and instant gratification, which often the news isn't. Reading a printed publication is an enjoyable and ritualistic ordeal. It's a chance to sit with a cup of coffee and reflect on the goings on of the world. And it's sad that people are not only missing out on that (glorious) ritual, but also on the various happenings in Uganda.

Pros

Negativity aside, there are many benefits of multi-media journalism. Firstly, though small time newspapers are fizzling out or being absolved, more and more bloggers are cranking out new methods of news. They are revealing details and contact people on their own, harnessing the power of the Freedom of Information Act (and the power of being annoying) to draw out the real details on people's lives. Their AP style might be for crap, and they may not have consistent verb tense, but they're still providing some sort of news. They are providing that diversity that might otherwise fizzle out with the small publications.

The Internet is also making "breaking news" a term of redundancy. With the use of immediate online publication and updates, and by harnessing the networking power of Facebook and twitter, news is always current and immediate. No more waiting for the next morning's paper. Everything is here and now and journalists are constantly under pressure to have the most comprehensive, up-to-date info on various stories. And that kind of pressure makes for quality news for the consumer.

I mentioned before the vintage appeal of the "good-ol'-fashioned" printed paper. And I genuinely think that it is wonderful. While I was in Boston, I subscribed to the Boston Globe; even if I didn't have opportunity to read it one day (due to 8 a.m.s or some rude cheapskate stealing my paper), it at least smelled nice. But really, the process of reading a paper is thoroughly enjoyable to me. It's a flashback to morning lattes on my back porch with my dad sharing interesting tidbits of news, while my mom did the morning crosswords. I always read the Union-Tribune and the sports pieces by Mark Zieglar, while my dad took the remaining sports stories (which typically disappeared in the bathroom) and his Wall Street Journal.

Random tangent... When I move back to Boston in June, I already plan on renewing my subscription to the Globe. But this morning, I was flipping through Women's Wear Daily and have been thinking about subscribing to it as well. WWD is often more focused on the industry than actual fashion. And I think that it provides a decent example of what I mean when I say that the news needs more diversity. Because WWD is a specialty publication, it falls under that category. Plus, I need to edumacate myself about the world of fashion. I'm hopelessly illiterate. Okay, tangent over.

Lastly (though I'm sure there are other points) is the incredible ability to harness multimedia and use it to complement stories. Though the newspaper industry has been hit hard by the cons listed above, the magazine industry and some noteworthy newspapers have stayed afloat. The key, however, is always to complement.

Unless it is listed as an "online magazine," like glo.com or an "online newspaper," like Huffington Post, content on a publications website SHOULD NOT match that of it's printed form. A website and a print copy should be two separate--and stand alone--items. If there's any particular reason why the magazine industry has fared better than the newspaper, it is because they have perfected their strengths. Reading a physical magazine is a ritual and readers know this. It's necessary for sunbathing and drinking summer cocktails by the pool. Furthermore, if you look on MC's website, you won't find the same content. Our full-length feature stories are often cut short, but the website also has videos, polls, links and quizzes. It has blogs (!) and additional content, as well. Come to think of it, the personality of MC's site is vastly different than its printed personality.

I've actually been blessed to live in two cities--San Diego and Boston--whose papers--The Union-Tribune and The Boston Globe, respectively--are recognized as some of the best in the country.  The U-T site has information about restaurants and weather/tides and local neighborhoods that couldn't possibly fit in the printed paper. And Boston.com has its own stories, boatloads of multimedia content, even its own staff.

For more info on the ways that the Internet might affect organizations (though not specifically news), check out Jeff Howe's video on croudsourcing--a term he coined and wrote a book about. By the way, he's joining Northeastern's Journalism School staff this fall to teach a class called Online Journalism and I can't take it because it interferes with another class I signed up for. But still... wham-bamming awesome. Tangent #2 over.

Then there's the whole nitty-gritty info about social media, which is basically free advertising and helps readers to feel like they are literally there as the news calls come in. From a news standpoint, twitter is amazing, because journalists can brief a story in 140 words before it's even written. The Globe could tweet: "New info on today's front page story. Stay tuned."

As a loosely related side note, notice all the links in this post? That's another thing the Internet does for journalism. Not only as I brain barfing my little heart out, but I'm providing you various opportunities to see my examples. Links do to an article what pictures do for books: They make it pretty and interesting and help people to envision and better grasp my ideas. Snazzy, no?

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I don't really know what I'm getting at. I guess I just hope to point out that my job is not disappearing, thank you very much.  I'm fighting the list of cons (which is conspicuously shorter) by blogging and writing, by working in the industry and starting up my own small-time publication. So go ahead, tell me I can't do something. "Can't" statements have always been more of a dare than a criticism for me, anyway. Just watch me.


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Rom-Com Journalist Types

I seldom blog on the weekends, but I just spent my morning watching "Morning Glory" which came yesterday from Netflix and features a super-amazingly-gorgeous Rachel McAdams (I totally have a girl crush). The movie very obviously plays to a specific target audience. But as a rom-com loving, hardworking female journalist, I definitely fall into that category. I find McAdams easy to relate to, partly because she's a struggling journalist and partly because I've had bangs before, too; I know how tempting it is to tussle them every two seconds.

Anyway, the movie literally had my eyes watering from laughing at times. It's no Academy Award winner, but when I discussed it with my fellow female journalist (and super close friend/sister/Bahama buddy) Laura Nelson, I mentioned that I was tempted to buy the movie. Truth is, I love those journalistic rom-coms. Sure, they're unrealistic; I mean, one would assume that all journalists are 25 and gorgeous. But they're feel good movies with strong central female roles that I relate to. Needless to say, I own way too many of them.

And now, for no apparent reason and jut because I want to, here's a list of all the  journalism/writing movies I can think of (and I own most of them!):

• The Devil Wears Prada
• How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days
• 13 Going on 30
• Confessions of a Shopaholic
• Letters to Juliet 
• Julie and Julia
• Eat, Pray, Love
• Bridget Jones' Diary
• Little Women
• 27 Dresses (she works at a magazine)
• Under the Tuscan Sun
• Post Grad
• Morning Glory
• Sex in the City

Today's Obsession: Ariat

I mentioned yesterday how much I loved my cowboy boots. They were on the list of htings I had paid a bit more for, but loved exponentially more because of it. Unfortunately, however, I love my boots so much that I wear them to bits. And introducing them to Boston winters wasn't the nicest thing I've done. They've been weathered and worn and need some major TLC from a cobbler. Or a replacement.

Buying boots is like buying a prom dress. During high school, I would start looking at dresses in December. And by the time buying time came around, I knew exactly what I wanted. I had seen all the styles and fished through designers' catalogs and had my choices narrowed down.

For boots, there's only one place I really feel comfortable buying, and that's the Boot Barn in San Diego. When I bought my first pair, they gave me an employee's discount. It was awesomeeee. Plus, while I'm happy to shop around online, the in-store try-on is incredibly fantastic. It's important to ensure that one's beloved boots fit correctly, hit in the right part of the shin and are badass enough.

But that doesn't mean I haven't been browsing online. With my first pair, I bought one with both brown and black so that I could wear it with anything. But I'm thinking it's about time I invest in multiple pairs. These caught my eye because they're vintage looking and a summer-y brown, but they're almost too conventional (If cowboy boots in New York can be conventional). Practicality be damned, I could definitely do with a pair in black or a super crazy colored pair (like these!). You can never have too many shoes. Obsessed.

Ariat Women's Heritage Western Boots in Red, $140