This is War

On a somewhat separate, but related note... When I got back from my weekend excursion to Boston, I renewed a commitment to myself. This summer, I spent a week in the boondocks of the Hudson Valley learning how to avoid my own barriers and how to love myself. If it sounds mushy and cheesy, it's because the idea is. But in actuality, it was an extremely empowering and insightful week.

At this program, we were encouraged to make a commitment and I chose to make one to myself. Fresh from a couple awkward romantic encounters, I decided to take a break from dating and focus on my relationship with myself. I wanted to purge myself of the toxins in my life, which  included attitudes, habits and--yes--people.

At the time, I had a few particulars in mind, but when school started, I lost my focus.

 Now, given the circumstances of this past weekend and the fact that there are so few eligible options in (no)Men-hattan, I'm refocusing and renewing my sentiments. ***

And what perfect timing, given that it's St. Valentine's Day (yes, it's a Catholic holiday, in case you were wondering).

Last night, I indulged myself on french fashion films (Coco Avant Chanel and Le scaphandre et le papillon), ate chocolate for dinner and cleaned. And tonight, I'm going to buy myself some lilies or irises (because boys somehow always overlook those flowers and get roses or tulips, neither of which fall into my top 5 fave flowers... except maybe yellow roses?? Bygones).

I'm going to light the chocolate-scented candle that I stole from the Marie Claire freebies closet and I'm going to clean more. I'm throwing out clothes, I'm de-junking my life, I'm eliminating 100 Facebook friends, doing my long-overdue mending and spending my night in drinking champagne and painting my toenails.

I mentioned Spring Cleaning before, but this is different. This is war. War on all things that don't actively benefit me.

I love me. And that's not selfish or self-centered. It's not bad. It's absolutely fabulously wonderful. And deserved. Because if I can't love me, how can I reasonably expect anyone else to.

Happy Valentine's Day to me (and you).

***It should be noted that sexurity guard, as I've taken to calling him (sexy+security guard), is exempt from my dating-bashing.